Expert: Julie - 8/27/2009

Question
My first boyfriend (Adam – 20, me -19) broke up with me nearly three months ago (we dated for six months – he broke up during summer break). I didn’t take it well and was pretty much crushed for three weeks. After three weeks I started a job as a camp counselor which really distracted me (I even had a camp fling!). Now, however, I’m back home and moving onto campus in a week. Adam is living in a apartment style building as far from my building as you can possibly get while still being on campus, and won’t be eating in the dining hall too much. He’s a theater major to my music major, so we might be mixing in extracurricular activities (hopefully, if I get into any theater productions this year…). I’m over him. I think. I still think about him a lot and miss him a lot but I do know that I would not go back to him if he asked (though I guess you never know till you’re in the situation…). So, then… why am I still so emo about it? I’m nervous about moving in and seeing him. I just want to see him already (we saw each other for a lunch a week after we broke up and we haven’t talked since). I’m awkward and just want to call him once we get to campus and be like “can I see you so I can stop freaking out” but I know that would be awkward to him…. But that’s how I feel! I just want to see him so I can get it over with, and take the next step to moving on. Any advice for a first timer?

Answer
I think it will be hard when you do see him especially since you still miss him. For example, my ex and I worked together and I thought I was getting over him til he came into the office and I seen him and it all went out the window. Of course its different for everyone, but if your still having these feelings and then anticipating seeing him and wondering how you'll react I don't think you are over him, even if you don't want him back. In your situation, it might be hard to avoid seeing him but I wouldn't go out of my way either if I were you. When you see him it might be better to just act cool..don't show emotion and try not to linger around too long, then just continue moving on. Seeing him might be a minor/ or major set back.

good luck

Julie