Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/6/2009

Question
after being married for 16 years, I left my husband and reconnected with "the one that got away." We have been in a monogamous relationship since 2005. Although very romantic, sexually pleasing, and attentive on every level, he was never a financial supporter or our home. He has had MANY relationships and a few children from diff women. These last few months his drinking became uncontrollable. Despite my pleas, he continued. Two weeks ago he was drunk and inappropriately touched my 17 year old daughter. of course, this killed me (us). He returned the next day and cut his wrists. I took steps calling the police and he has been out of the house since. Why am I yearning for him. I call him, text him, and feel stupid because he ignores me. Why can't I let him go? I've tried to think of the bad times including the betrayal.. I'm still missing us. I cry for no reason, can't focus, can't fall asleep, can't stay asleep. I am angry with myself for not just letting go especially with what he did to my daughter. I just want the hurt to stop. But it doesn't. I want things back to the way they use to be minus the drinking. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

Answer
Dear Kym,
This is really a no brainer for me.  He inappropriately touched your daughter... That would be the absolute end for me.  Maybe your missing him because it is a change in your routine and life, but there is absolutely no way that I would call, text, or email him whatsoever.  Do you really want to give him the message that his behavior was acceptable?  His track record obviously speaks for itself and there is nothing this man could do that would make me want to even consider dropping the charges let alone reconciliation.  I strongly recommend that you seek professional help to assist you during this difficult time.  I understand that there may be certain qualities about this man that you may miss, but you will find them with someone else and if you don't.... then isn't it better off to be alone then to have to deal with all of this unacceptable behavior?? You have to take care of you..... Sadness of a broken routine... yes... missing a man who inappropriately touched my child... NEVER!!  Good Luck....