Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/10/2009

Question
My question is this....I just got into the dating scene after being married for 15 years. I recently got dumped by a man i adored. He said i was wonderful and different and the first woman  he has ever met that he could share his feelings with. He said i was so very special. I know he is still hurting from another 5 year relationship but still don't know why he would dump me if i was so special and different. I have taken this break up very hard. I have been crying for weeks i don't want to get out of bed or go to work. It hurts so bad i think i would have rather been hit by a truck! Everyone tells me to let it go, but i can't seem to. I miss everything about him. I don't know how to get over this. And i am scared to ever date again if this is how it feels. Any advice?  

Answer
Dear Sue,
This is a tough time no doubt.... You should move on and forget about him, but if it were that easy I wouldn't be an expert on this website.  You were married for 15 years and you entered into the unknown area called = Single life.... which has its ups and downs.  Then, you take a risk, date someone, and start to care about him.  However, it wasn't what he wanted ~ he just wasn't that into you ~ and that is NOT a reflection of you!!! Not everyone is going to be that into us nor are we going to be that into everyone.... I would get your butt out of bed and make sure you do the basic things in life like eat, work, shower, sleep, etc.  because crying all day in bed is getting you no where.  It hurts like hell, but you have to tell yourself that this was his decision.  It is scary to date ~ it's real scary, but worth the risk.... It's normal to miss him... sometimes we even put them on a pedastal.... This is not the end of the world.... you had to mourn the loss of your marriage and then when you put yourself out there you got hurt... So, I understand how you are feeling, but you need to get busy building your own life and loving yourself.  I am going to share a little bit about myself with you:  I was married once, engaged seven times, and went through probably every situation imaginable in regards to relationships... At the ripe age of 35 ~ I decided that I was destined to be alone.... I left my last relationship with the decision that if I was suppose to be alone then I would live a fabulous life... When I least expected it and under the weirdest circumstances: I met the man of my dreams... was I fearful? ABSOLUTELY... but, he moves mountains ~ sometimes continents.... and you know what.... it took a lot of tears and bad relationships to get to where I am today..... I hope this helps.... Good Luck