Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/27/2009

Question
me & my boyfriend of 3 yrs recently broke up about 3 weeks. he broke up with me because he said he's stressed and I add to it. I know he's stressed because of issues with his mom he just had eye surgery & tells me he wants to get his life together & that I should do the same. he's 22 I'm 20. we been talking & hanging out for the past 3 weeks and its been good. I came up with the idea of taking a break for about 3months & he agreed. I just don't know how to go through with it now I feel like ima lose my mind. I saw him yesterday & at first he said talk to you in december then took it back & said talk to you when I talk to you. idk what to do we both love each other. help

Answer
Dear Nels,
When 2 people love each other it doesn't sound like what you are describing in your email.  To stay friends with him or to remain in contact with him is going to be extremely painful for you.  I would hope that you can find the strength to cut off all contact with him.  If things are meant to be they will be, but you are setting yourself up for more heartbreak.  When a man is into you they will do nothing short of moving mountains to be with you and that is what it sounds like ~ not this.  He wants to keep you on a string and have you there, but without the responsibilities and there is no guarantee as to what is going to happen except that you are definitely wasting some precious time.  Move on with your life ~ as difficult as it may be ~ so that you can give yourself a chance to recover and enjoy some of the most precious years of your life.  If and when he wants to really be with you ~ see how you feel at the time ~ take back your power...... Good Luck