Expert: Julie - 8/6/2009

Question
My boyfriend and I broke up in the beginning of January, you can only imagine how amazing my New Years was. Anyways, a few weeks after the break up, I was hearing through the grape-vines that he had been sleeping with a hand full of different girls. After a couple of months, he realized that he had made a bad turn in his decision making and decided to come back to me and try to work things out... take it day by day. I was happy and was willing to do it. Until I was noticing no change really and no effort to try and make me believe that things would be better.

I broke things off and now, 4 months later, he has come back for some emotional support on his parents separation. I was willing to even give that try and be his friend, but I felt that I couldn't do it. I still felt to vulnerable.

My question is, why does he keep coming back to me? Regardless if it's to be in a relationship with me, to be my friend, or to even spark up a new conversation. It just never ends with him. I still have a soft spot for him and know that I can't be friends, nor have I ever thought that ex's can be "buddy-buddy". It's starting to mess with my head and my heart. What do you think this all means?

Answer
I think he's confused and I think he still just turns to you as a friend. If he really wanted a relationship he'd have come back and worked on himself instead of just coming to you when its convient.

thats the problem with remaining friends with an ex, it messes with your head. You need time to heal and get away from the situation and you need to do no contact in order to start feeling better.

He probably just has a hard time letting go..but this is not good for either of you and this is why you need to just put your foot down and end it or this will continue as long as you allow it.