Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/3/2009

Question
After two years my Girlfriend decided to go on a break to think about what she want because I'm in a military school. She not ready for the military but she said she was willing to learn. I'm very depressed because i relied on he for everything she was my world my one and only. Now i don't have her. she says she loves me still and i love her. I'm so scared about losing her...what should i do?

Answer
Dear Cory,
You have to find a way to rely on yourself and those that are close to you in the event that the 2 of you don't stay together.  If she is not ready then you are best to know now so that you can prepare for this huge commitment you are making.  It is very scary to lose someone, but wouldn't you rather be with someone who is totally commited to you and the relationship rather then not?? It's hard when you love someone and they don't feel exactly the same way.  My advice would be to give yourself a time limit (don't tell her what it is) and if she hasn't decided to be with you at that point then promise yourself that you will let her go ~ as difficult as this may be, but you need to move on with your life at some point.  Change is very scary and not only are you going through this "break" but you are also experiencing some life changing events.  You need to be able to focus on yourself and the choices you have made to serve your country.  Know that you have done everything you can and now it is up to her to decide if this is the life she wants ~ the one with you ~ if not... you have to move on... as difficult as it may be you really have no other choice... Good Luck