Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/22/2009

Question
hi erica..
i was dating this girl for 4 months (not alot,i know)and we had are typical disagreements mainly due to the fact that we jumped into the relationship to quickly,i mean without becoming friends first.i was very supportive and attentive with her needs and would always have something creative and fun to with her,so she wouldnt get bored or have that same dull relationship that most couples have.i dont know if it was her age (18)..im 24...but even doh her dad would tell me that she was spolied and her favorite of all 3 daughters she would never ask me anything like what my favorite food was or what color i liked and not that thats importat to me but it struck me as a bit odd..i myself had neer had a grilfriend and of course i fell in love with her as she said it to me first whithin the first week which i told her she might wanna think about that..and it was the only time she told me that she loved me..but i knew in the back of my head she was still inlove with her last boyfriend who was her first love and had a 2 year relationship wit him but long distance for he lived in chile and only saw each other 6 or 7 times whenever she would go over and play her volleyball tournaments.
i treated her like a queen and even her sisters would tell me not to spoil her and sometimes would even suggest me to dump her by the way she would treat me..im not a saint cause i know i ade the huge mistake of crying in front of her and she really saw how needy i was for her,i tried to explain to her that i also took control of the situation but this time i was afraid of losing her and didnt know how to act and of course panicked...well its been 8 months she she broke up with me and 4 months since ive had any contact with her (i now live in france)but will have to go back to finish my studies and probably will see her...i love her soo much and am at a lost...ive never cheated or mistreated her in anyway..please help me cause im tired of crying every night for this girl.thank u

Answer
Dear Dorian,
When two people are in love and both parties respect each other there is nothing wrong with sharing your emotions or being vulnerable.  I believe that your girlfriend has a different agenda and just isn't into this relationship anymore.  No matter how much we care or do for someone it doesn't make them want to be with us... if only life could be that easy.  Always go with your gut feeling.  If she isn't making an effort and doesn't care about what is going on in your world... don't you think that you deserve better.  Four months is a long time for no contact and I am pretty sure she has moved on with her life... you need to move on with yours.  Go back to your studies ~ hold your head up high ~ and start healing.... Stay Strong... Continue your no contact rule.... Success is always the best revenge.... Just keep telling yourself that you are a good man and if she doesn't love you then you are better off without her and that is a choice that she made, but you did whatever you could in the relationship.... Good Luck