Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/21/2009

Question
Ok me and my ex were 18teen when we started going out.We went out for 6 months and we had the best relationship ever. Ive dated quiet a few guys so having him made them all seem like nothing. We were so alike but had those small differences that meant nothing . We never argued except for twice in are relationship over stupid things but we were always laughing, smiling and joking the rest of the time.We were always the couple people wanted to double date with and hang out with. We were very talkative and fun. We both played guitar,piano and sang. There was never anything wrong with us. We loved each other a lot. Well he had a church retreat to go for bout 2 months . He said he would miss me and call me when he got a chance. Well those next two months i got nada (nothing) . No call, no text, no text, e-mail nothing at all I got crap. He traveled so he was never in one place with his church group so you know i didn't think of anything cuz come on its church people. Well after those two long months of waiting and not getting anything from him. He came back . Well he was home for two days and I never got a call from him so I was even more sad but then two days later while on the computer I saw an E-mail from him saying that he was sorry but he wants us to be friends. That he learned things at church and said he was going down the wrong path with me. I was hurt, shocked and pissed all at once. Well i sent him some bad messages to him because of my madness and he sent some sorry's back and said i was lucky that he even said anything to me cuz he could of been a jacka** and said nothing.I haven't heard from him since (benn 2 months) after he returned my ring back to me that i gave him. Well i still want him . I think about him all the time and am i wrong for wanting him? Should i send him a message or call him to try to work things out ? I love this boy and trust me I've gone out on dates had other boyfriends but no other dude makes me feel like how he did. He always finds a way to cross my mind there are too many good memories and fun times we had together to get rid of all of them. What should i do cuz I'm so confused.

Answer
Dear Candace,
Your not wrong for feeling the way that you do.  There is no wrong or right...Feelings are feelings and we have to own them.  However, I wouldn't contact him.  It sounds like he is soul searching ~ and has made a decision for himself.  Unfortunately, you have to try and get through this difficult time with the support of your family and friends.  Try not to focus on what was or what could have been, but rather what it is.  He made a decision and you have to accept his decision.  If that decision changes then you can decide whether or not you want to be with him.  Maybe you aren't ready to start dating again and when you do go on a date you compare the new guy to the old one.... and then it makes you sad.  Maybe you just need to take some time for you!!! Just you!!! Remember... MEN respond to NO CONTACT ~ that's not to say that he will come back, but if you have NO CONTACT with him your life will move on.... It just takes some time...