Expert: Julie - 9/22/2009

Question
I really want to break up with my girlfriend. The problem is I don't want to hurt her. I know there is no easy way to do it, but I can't seem to find the words. She loves me more than I love her. She thinks I want to get married and buy a house and grow old together. At one point I thought I did, but now I just want to be single, spend time with my son and enjoy the single life. I do love her and I want to keep her in my life somehow. So how do I end things with out making her hate me? And when is the right time to do this?

Answer
You are right, theres no way you won't hurt her by breaking up with her. The best time to do this is as soon as possible, sit her down and tell her how you feel. Let her know you still love her but that you want other things in life right now and are not ready to settle down. That way she doesn't blame herself. She will still be hurt of course but its the easiest way to ease out of the relationship. If she decides to hate you or be angry, then theres not much you can do, except to give her some time and space.

good luck

Julie