Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/23/2009

Question
i have been with this dude off and on for almost years. I am 23 and he is 36 he has kids and I have none.We had a breakup of months but we still kept in touch. He got married and didn't tell me I found when the wife called and to make a long story short he got divorced within 6months.We'll we got back together and it was great but then he got his own apt for his son and everything went down.We started arguing a lot for little things like time and allegations of cheating.{this guy was living two lives at one point so yes i felt insecure} He stopped calling me as much he wasn't spending much time and one day we went out he had the ex wife daughters pic on his front dash.I was feeling left out because we used to spend everyday together so I was tripping a little..I know he loves when I communicate issues he works on them.. I forgave I KNOW.....  but Y the CHANGE? Did I nag to much? Or is it  he is pulling away because he is missing his old life or doesnt want to move to the next level.I need a clue?

Answer
Dear Ariel,
It is understandable why you feel insecure, but why do you want to be with this man anyway?? He has already broken the most important aspect of a relationship which is trust and then you wonder what you are doing wrong.....no way.... Let him NOT call you... Let him deal with his ex wife and children..... you ~ at the great age of 23 ~ need to enjoy the best years of your life.... period... If he wants to be with you he will do whatever it takes, but I am hoping that if you get strong enough you won't want to be with him.  You need to understand that regardless of your nagging or insecurity ~ he contributed to that, but you accepted it.... So.... you shouldn't have to live that way... your going to either forgive him and be the "great" girlfriend who holds a lot of resentment or move on with your life.....You deserve to be with someone who doesn't lie to you and has a healthy relationship with you... Don't you think??? Good Luck