Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/16/2009

Question
So Erica, I need to know how to get myself of a rather sticky situation.I am a teenage father that is no longer a teenager and now have two wonderful kids with my high school sweetheart. Whom, I just found out had been cheating on my friends and random people alike for the last four years. However, in all honesty I didn't find out until I had an affair with a woman and had to cave from the guilt. Long story short, we have been together for six and a half years and have spent the last year trying to forgive her for her sins but it'd just not working. I think of the things i have done to help me say she's not that bad. But everyday I get that pain in my gut reminding me of the bad things she has done. I have to get out but am not financially secure since i have been supporting the family since i was seventeen. For Christ sake I don't know if my daughter is my own or a good friend of my brothers. Please does this make any sense.

Answer
Dear Justin,
Welcome to the wonderful world of paternity tests.  If you have doubt ~ get tested to ease your heart and mind.  Rely on friends and family during this very difficult time, but for your own sanity you need to leave and then legally you have the recourse to see your children.  Also, once a relationship has been destroyed by infidelity ~ it is extremely difficult to ever fully trust the other person again.  The relationship has been destroyed by one or both parties.  If you want to continue to try I would highly recommend counseling for the 2 of you.  It is a very difficult road, but one that can be worthwhile if you both want to save your relationship.  However, there have been many infidelities to overcome... not just one... Maybe it's time to count your losses and move on with your life as difficult as it is going to be.  Good Luck