Expert: Julie - 9/9/2009

Question
my boyfriend and i broke up over my insecurites, that i have no clue where i got these from, i have never been cheated on b4, i have never cheated on anyone, but i tend to think that and acusse him of doing that all the time, so we have this hard break up, but he wants to still 'be friends' when he's upset he tells my the forget about him, leave him alone, move on, get over him, but when he's missing me he tells me he loves me, that he misses us, what to hang out,watch movies. and i'm still soo in love with him, i never say NO, coz i do want him in my life. but its been 5 months and i am just miserable,and i'm on this emotional rollercoaster, and dont know what to do know, i feel like im holding on to someone that is never gonna love me, or want me, but then i'm not ready to let him go

Answer
I know this scenario all too well..
the problem is, as long as he can have you during this break up he won't do anything to come back to you and commit or work on issues. This cycle will continue on for as long as you allow it. You have to make a decision to get off this rollercoaster or you will continue to stay miserable..
You need to give him a reason to miss you, which is to cut him off completely..if he feels he's losing you then its the only way he will consider coming back. But not while he still has you when he wants. Its hard but its the only way.