Expert: ***ERICA*** - 1/7/2010

Question
We met on the 24th of August, unexpectedly, and inspite of wrong numbers and misinformation, found eachother a week later. Since that day, we spent every day talking to eachother, waiting 7 dates to 'consumate' the relationship and spending 3-4 nights a week together and everyday on the phone for sometimes hours. After meeting eachothers children, spending holidays together (with full family interaction) and declaring our love for eachother, he said he hadnt intended to fall in love with me and had some 'issues' he had to deal with in his life before he could be with anyone on a serious nature.(Absolutely positve there is NO OTHER WOMAN INVOLVED) My question is; How do you deal with someone who u knows loves you, but thinks hes doing the right thing by leaving you, so your life wont be affected by his. Do I let him go, hoping that if its meant to be it will; or every once in awhile (1-2 times a week) let him know that you are still thinking of him and to reassure him that you are not giving up on him, or just completely move on? Im 35 and know what we had was the real thing,not a teenage crush. Just unsure where to go, need guys advice more than anything. i dont want to overwhelm him with pressure especially when he is obviously going thru something hard enough to throw away someone he loves, but really confused. I dont want to make things worse. Please help

Answer
Dear Heather,
I would cut my losses and move on allowing to give myself a chance to meet someone else.  There is nothing in this world that he has to take care of that he has to breakup with you over.  Nothing.... I certainly wouldn't reassure him that you are there for him because that just lets him know that what he is doing is okay... You DESERVE more and DESERVE better.  Whatever the reason is that he left and you probably won't ever find out the real reason ~ you need to start picking up the pieces and move on ... .Life is too short.... I am sure that you want to meet someone who you are going to have all of those feelings for, but they are going to be there for you and vice versa... not run when there are problems..... Good Luck