Expert: Dr. Dan - 2/14/2010

Question
I'm not sure if am in love or obsessed with my ex boyfriend.

me and my ex were together for about 18months, he was my first love,but toward the end of our relationship we weren't together as much so i ended up cheated on him, with my current boyfriend, but i was confuse because after a couple of months of dating my new boyfriend i kept going back to ex. until i found out i was pregnant from this new guy I've been with. and so i just ended up stay with the babies daddy.

ever since then me and my ex had lost contact of each other, and is now been years. but i never forgot about my ex, up until a few months ago he popped up in my head and now i cant stop thinking about him day and night.

i now feel like i want to be with him again, but this time if we get back together i know it wont be the same as the last time, i am actually going to take responsibility for what i did but this time give 110percent.

Everytime i go to the store or anywhere else i hope to see him since i lost contact of him.

but I'm confuse. Am i really just in love with him or is it an obsession? since i cant stop thinking about him.

X MARIA

Answer
Maura thanks for taking the time to ask for help.

This is very common and I have done this myself many times in the past. We tend to remember al the good times we had in the past with an ex and not what led to the break up in the first place. The reason we tend to go back in our head is because it is safe. We fear the unknown of what if I don't find someone else. So alot of people end up settling. I suggest to stop obsessing and trying to bump into him, Instead move on and enjoy your life. Get out there and live it. Spend time with your child and get out and meet new people.

Dr. Dan

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