Expert: Harry Ax - 12/30/2011

Question
My boyfriend's 19, and I'm 22.  He just finished his first semester of college, but failed the majority of his classes (3 out of 4), so based on how he is mentally right now, he might be in there for a while.  His friends are all on the same page with him, and I feel "old" when I sit with all of them sometimes.  I've decided that I'm not going to try to go back to school, and start a business instead (I have about another year. before I work all the kinks out).  I work/have a car, and am applying for a second job, and I have an 8 month old baby.  My mom always tells me that she doesn't think we should be together, and that I need to find someone more on my "level."  He just finished a seasonal job, and therefore no longer works.  He doesn't have a car/license/permit, no kids.  He says he loves me extremely, and I feel like I love him too, but at the same time, I don't want him to be in love with the lifestyle I live (he still has a curfew, I don't, I can go anywhere legally, he can't, little things like that).  We've been together for about 3 months, and I've thought about breaking up before, but I feel like, in the long run, he's something worth holding onto...just our lives right now are completely unbalanced.  We talk about marriage all the time, but honestly, if he asked me tomorrow, I would say no...but a year from now, the answer might be completely different...should I continue this?  Aside from the outlying factors, I'm really happy with him emotionally, I love his family, and I can see myself with his last name, but I don't want to wait years upon years to make us ready...that's youth wasted to me.

Answer
How is that youth wasted ? Is it youth wasted if you spend the next three years single and hook up with 20 random guys ? If you really loved this guy maybe you wouldn't have to ask yourselves these questions. Do you love him or do you just love the fact that you have someone and have a security blanket for yourself ? If it's the latter your boyfriend will eventually pick up on it and he will be the one to break up with you. My advice to you is become content with life outside of your relationship. Then you can share your life with someone and be happy.

Regards