Expert: Harry Ax - 12/16/2011

Question
I was in a relationship with a guy for 3yrs now. He became quite uncertain in the middle but did not want a break up. We went through a rough patch and his best friend helped me out by being my shoulder to cry on. I was on the verge of ending my relationship with my guy and one day I told my guy's best friend that i love him for he treats me better than my guy did. But I did not break up with my guy. This best friend lets call him Y..said yes cos he always thought that I was the right girl for him. Y is very serious about this relationship. I do not want to break his heart. I want my guy who is now loving n certain about the love he has for me. I know what I did was wrong but please help me to deal with Y. He doesn't know that I love my guy and he has huge hopes of a future with me. I love my guy and want Y as my best friend. It's been 9 months since this complicated triangle started with Y. I do not have the guts to tell him it was rebound cos he is very sensitive.help me pls!:'(

Answer
Hi Nina,


Neither of these guys is fulfilling you properly so you want to keep both in your life to satisfy yourself. You don't care about Y. Your keeping him around as your security blanket. Because he makes you feel validated as a women.

You are being very unfair to Y. If you care about him, and want to see how things go with your boyfriend you should cut all contact with Y while you sort things out.

You tell him gently that it's an unfair situation and that if he was your boyfriend he wouldn't want you hanging out with some other guy. Tell him you are confused and want to see exactly where things are with your boyfriend and you can't do this while Y is around. He may be hurt a little but this won't compare to the hurt if you're not honest and keep stringing him along.

I trust you will do the right thing

Kind Regards.