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How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/Boyfriend of 5 years or New flame?


So I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years, since I was 16, currently I am now 21. He is my first and only serious relationship. We basically lived together during our undergraduate degrees, and now we are both pursuing our Masters but in a long distance relationship. We have had a really great relationship and I feel as though he is my best friend. Recently he has become more interested in talking about getting engaged/married. I still feel like I am much too young, and that since this is still my first relationship, that I am interested in seeing what else is out there.

Furthermore, I have been feeling for a while that I love him more as a friend than as a lover. We rarely have sex (this has always been the case). He thinks that it is because I have a very low sex drive, but in fact, I really am interested in having sex, but just not with him. We also rarely kiss or hold hands. There is zero sexual compatibility between the two of us, and even when we do have sex, neither of us really enjoys it.

I met a guy in my Masters program who I am crazy about. We have intense chemistry and get along really well. I am very happy when I spend time with him, we have a lot of fun together. With him, I get the passion I feel like I am missing out on with my boyfriend. But I know its not just the physical aspects that are attracting me to him, as I feel we could really work as a couple for the long term. However, obviously I cannot pursue a relationship with both guys, but I'm not really sure how to choose.  So first, how can I decide who I want to be with? Second, if I choose to move on, I have no idea how to break up with my current boyfriend. I can't stand the thought of hurting him, and we are such amazing friends, that I would hate to damage that as well.

Take some time away from both of them and see who you miss the most. Attraction isn't a choice but you can logically decide what to do to minimise things getting messy.

Try not to string anyone along because that end's up coming back to bite you. It sounds like your waiting for things with your boyfriend to go sour so you can just leave with minimal awkwardness.

Women by nature are bonders so they end up staying in relationships well after they start to lose attraction for the guy, so keep that in mind to.

Good luck :)

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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