How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/He Cheated


A few days ago me and my boyfriend were having shots. He had a lot of alcohol in his system and we were playing a question game, like have you ever. He began to tell me after a while into the questions that he had slept with our coworker when we were dating, a month into out relationship.
There had also been other problems with this female coworker of ours. I had found out they had gone to the movies together with a few other people and a other coworker  of ours ended up telling me he had his hand on her leg the whole movie. There had also been incidents in the work place when we would all work together she would openly hit on him and even slap his ass. I told him it had to stop. He said there wasnít much he could do; But after the movie incident we had serious talk he could no longer hangout or text this girl, or we were over, he agreed.
The coworker that told me about the movie outing also told me they, her the girl and him had also gone to parties together and they would hang out and talk and they would disappear for moments of time together.
Needless to say she just gave me a leery feeling of my boyfriend. So when he admitted he had slept with this girl which was known as a home wrecker around the work place as well. I was disgusted. He told me that he couldnít remember the time frame of when it happened and that he was very high and drunk, but that it might of been after the movie incident when I had said no more. He had gone over to her apartment to watch a movie he said they watched the movie and then had sex.
When I asked him why because we hadnít had a fight he literally replied because there was nothing better to do. We are now about three years into our relationship. As for our relationship its been very loving we donít fight a lot and we take care of each other. Iím here because I literally donít know what to do. I truly need real advice. Should I throw away three years of a realtionship when everything was going fine?

Hi Lorsa-

WOW - "Everything was going fine" HOW SO? Never lie to yourself....

People have MO's - a pattern of rationalizing and living and decision  making. People have a Method of Operation - a WAY of life - their moral compass. You just found out about one thing he did, but there is always a pattern -  never assume it is isolated.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Every day you stay is another day wasted, if the guy cheated on you because "there was nothing better to do" which shows moral bankruptcy. You want a man who also spent 3 years with you who thinks  if there's nothing better to do, cheating is fine entertainment?!??!

You can't find a good guy until you figure out through counseling WHY you would still hold on to a guy like this, and think that is what you are owed, and two,  have higher standards for yourself  and the men you date.

SO it is hard but true - when someone shows you who they are, forgive them, BELIEVE them.... and MOVE ON fast.

Then HEAL,  and accept no more counterfeit men!


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Sonya Snyder


All questions related to breaking up with someone in a mature, appropriate manner, based on the individual situation.


I have become something of a requested expert on the subject of how to break up with someone for the best possible outcome for both parties. I can help all ages with this advice.

BA Journalism, nearing completion of my MA, Forensic Psychology, continuing on to my Clinical Psychology PhD.

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