How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue
On Saturday my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue. We have been together for 6 months, and I thought he was the one. We had a fantastic relationship, we never argued, we had similar interests and we always had a great time together.
He asked me to be his girlfriend over the summer, then a few months later he asked me to go home with him and meet his family which I did. When I was home with him in October he told me he loved me. Everything was amazing. My birthday was recently and he went out of his way to contact my friends to see exactly what I wanted.
Towards the end of December he had to go home for Christmas and also had to work out of state for a few days. He ended up going out on the Friday before NYE with the co-workers from out of state and he got really drunk. He texted me Saturday morning saying hey I'm going to be a little late getting home but I love you and see you soon.
We ended up spending that weekend and NYE together. We exchanged Xmas gifts and he had bought us a trip across the country for mid-march.
He had a NYE party and one of his co-workers came by she was pretty drunk and said to me that when my boyfriend came to the office he was a lost soul, all kinds of woman were chasing him and he didn't want anything to do with them- until he met you. She then went on to tell me to be careful because my boyfriend was confused and in the same breathe she says but he's crazy about you.
I told my BF about this and he just laughed. Then the next day he was kind of distant and I was supposed to see him on Weds. He ended up being sick on Weds and stayed home. We had plans to go to a friend's party on Friday which he cancelled as well. Thursday he added a girl to his Facebook which I only noticed because she had friended then unfriended me on Sunday which was weird. She then went about liking everything on my now ex-boyfriends page. So I texted him and I said can we talk for a minute and I said look this girl friended then unfriended me on facebook, she has been looking at my business website and Linkedin Account. So I asked him if I had anything to worry about he said no- that I worry too much, I asked if we were ok and he said yes we are and he told me he loved me.
Friday morning he called me and told me how he was looking forward to spending the weekend with me and told me he loved me.
Saturday I go to his apartment and he comes in and doesn't kiss me and sits down. He says Something did happen I want to talk to you.
When I was home for Xmas I was talking to my dad about how I wasn't sure if I was in love with you. My dad said I shouldn't lead you on if I feel that way. He then goes on to say I love you like a friend and I'm not sure i could ever be in love with you.
I was stunned. when he was away over Xmas he sent me flowers saying he loved me and couldn't wait to spend the year with me. The Xmas card he gave me with our trip we were supposed to go on said Merry FIRST Xmas with that being underlined I thought this year we could go somewhere fun together!
This breakup came out of left field. He said he had been unhappy for the month of December because he felt he couldn't fall in love with me. I think this is lies.
Every person who knows him and meets me tells me how crazy he was about me, how much he loved me. I don't understand how a guy one minute is planning a fantastic trip with you, talking about the future then 3 days later pulls the rug out from under me. I'm so confused. I talked him into taking a break until the beginning of February when we will meet back. He told me not to have high hopes.
He has a co-worker that is going through a divorce I met at the NYE party this guy blatantly hit on my when my bf left the room. He sent me a text the day after my bf brokeup with me basically saying He'd be here for me if I needed a shoulder to cry on it was creepy. And my BF was getting advice from this guy- he's going through a divorce because he and his wife were never in love (sound familiar)
I don't know what to do. I haven't contacted him. I don't know if that girl is involved. He changed his Facebook status to nothing so I did the same. I guess that's better then him changing it to single. He did say that maybe absence would make the heart grow founder and who knows what the future will hold. I'm devastated less than a week ago we're planning this trip and then he just dumps me out of the blue. I don't understand what happened. IS there anyway to fix this? I really want to send him an email but I'm trying to give him space so he will miss me. Do you think he will come back? My head is spinning.
You are correct in giving him space so he will miss you. Try to resist contacting him at all for a few weeks so both of your emotions can subside and you can have more clarity into the situation.
This wouldn't have happened out of the blue, he would've thought about it for a while but nonetheless pretended that everything was ok, thats why he could continue to make plans, in my opinion.
Try to be patient and keep yourself busy