How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/I need to get my ex back


Hello my name is Adam I'm 20 years old I had been with my ex for basically three years she is 18 for the last few months of our relationship we hsve been arguing over small things and they go on due to both of our tempers but when we did make up it would end up with us both crying holding onto each other saying how sorry we are how much we are in love with each other and need each other we used to always say how we wanted to be like our parents our meet when in college and grow up together building a family I have been a horrible boyfriend telling my moods out in her but I'm completely and utterly in love with her anyway we have been through everything together we used to always say how strong we are we hsve been to America two times together Cyprus once and Amsterdam. She turned around last Sunday and said get out it's over I left thinking she just needed to calm down thrn I found out she was serious thr next day she contacted me saying why did I chsnge I spoke to her and said I would do anything to chsnge and keep her she said okay she wants me to prove it so she said next Tuesday we meet for a meal and you prove you can chsnge at this point I was confident the Friday and Saturday she went out with her friends got drunk which is understandable and on the Saturday she said she loved me thr same she missed me so much and she needed me then on Sunday she said I cannot do this anymore I want to be young and free and to do what I want she said she isn't in love with me I don't know what do believe anymore I'm crushed the only thing thst will make this better is her she used to always say her life is nothing without she loves me and always will I'm her soul mate she wants to marry me and we even started saving for our future what do I do is it likely I can get her back or do you think this is it she just wants that she wrote on twitter on our three year 'it would hsve been our three year today but all that love eill turn to hate' I can't loose her I honestly hsve nothing without her no one who cares for me I love her


Do you realize you used no punctuation and this is one sentence? Was hard to follow but WOW!

In relationships, sometimes repeated bad behaviors slowly extinguish love.  

Relationships are like gardens- till them, weed them, water them, and attend to them and they usually thrive. Ignore the needs of the garden or neglect or mistreat them, and they die.

I would let her know in English, with clear sentence structure, that you are sorry and why, and that you would like to try again.

Then let her decide.

In the meantime, work on yourself- to be able to treat people the way they and you would want to be treated, and to find out why you chose the actions you did with her. Even if it doesn't work out with her, you need to do this to be able to grow and move forward toward other happy opportunities that can possibly have a happier ending for you.  

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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Sonya Snyder


All questions related to breaking up with someone in a mature, appropriate manner, based on the individual situation.


I have become something of a requested expert on the subject of how to break up with someone for the best possible outcome for both parties. I can help all ages with this advice.

BA Journalism, nearing completion of my MA, Forensic Psychology, continuing on to my Clinical Psychology PhD.

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