How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/I Dont Know What to do!
QUESTION: Ok so I am 18 but im still in highschool,And im really sorry this will be long there are just alot of details needed to know. I was dating this girl for just over 5 months and we were having the best time ever. But during the last 2 months or so me and her were pretty much never aloud to hangout outside of school stuff because she had some bad grades and her parents wouldnt let her. But I was finnaly able to come over to her house and while i was there we were having the best time. But when I had to leave, it took her a while to say it and she was crying but she said that "We should take a break". And i know that usually means that your done. But ive had a few of her good friends tell me that right after I left her house that night she called them and said it was just a temporary thing till her grades get up. And the next day at school i asked her if it was for real or temporary and she said it was temporary. I decided i would give her the space i guees she wanted by not talking to her between classes anymore so she can focus on classes during that time. But do talk to her a little during my one class i have with her and after school for like 20 minutes till she has to leave. During that time when we couldnt hangout really I would ask her if she would want to do something like if a concert would come up or something and her friends sayed that she would get mad when i asked. She also told me that she always felt bad because we couldnt hangout and felt bad. She sayed this break was till the school year was over or when her grades got up and we both agreed not to get with any girls. I ended up going to a party before we made that agreement and i didnt do anything with another girl but she got mad that i did that. She didnt tell me she was mad but she told her friends. I talked to her about it and made shure she knew i didnt do anything with another girl and it seemed to make things better. She hasnt been hanging out with anyone because she still isnt aloud to hangout with anyone and she told me her parents didnt make her do this "break". I just dont know weather i should Stop talking to her to get her to miss me more or keep in good contact with her hoping that she really will get back together when her grades come up or end of the school year. Im really depressed and sad feeling because this was such a sudden thing and I really felt like I loved her. Thankyou so much for your help! -Tyler
ANSWER: Hi Tyler,
I always say that no contact is the best way to go when someone in a relationship needs space or a break. By being there she really doesn't get the chance to figure out what she wants. I would let her be and definitely wouldn't talk to her friends about her. I would make sure her friends know that you don't want any information because they could be telling you things that aren't true or get distorted along the way. Hopefully, she can get her grades up and figure things out for herself. I understand that your upset and depressed, but she is the only person who can figure out what is best for her. I would move on with your life and do the things that make you happy. If she comes around then you know she missed you. If not... then you didn't waste any more of your precious time dwelling on the situation. End the contact with her and her friends..... That is probably your best bet... Good Luck
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QUESTION: But i see her everyday at school and i feel like if i just ignore her she will think im a jerk. And we agreed we wouldnt see anyone else during this time. I went to a party one night and she got upset because there were some girls there but i of course didnt try anything with them because of my situation. I just dont want her to think im a bad guy because i stop talking to her.
I understand that you see her at school every day and don't want to treat her poorly. IF you want to wait around and see if she wants to be with you that is your choice and decision to make. I can only give you my opinion. She can't or rather shouldn't have her cake and eat it too... So, she can do what she wants and still have you waiting for her in the wings... Who wouldn't want that??? IF you believe that she is being honest with you and that she is doing this to get her grades up.... well, I guess you have already made your decision and want to wait it out. But, if you start getting an "icky" feeling where you think that she might not be telling you the truth.. the whole truth... well, then I would re-visit your decision. I hope this helps, but I think you have already made your decision because you have a reason for why she does what she does.... I truly hope this works out the way you want it to.... I really do.... Good Luck