How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/On the Verge of Breaking Up (Undecided)
I think its better if i address my situation not as a break up but maybe just on the verge, writing about it I think also helps, I'm confused too but i guess its in the process of healing. I met this guy online and we do seem to have a lot of similarities at first i was cautious for i was in a relationship then, father of my kid, but family does not approve of him and during those times we have not met each other for I think four months. I did tried to resolve the gap between my ex and I back then but he kept saying he is busy at work, so i gave up.
Then he comes along, online guy, 11 years my junior, not dreamed of falling with someone younger, and on a mmporgh game, he sounded great or maybe i wasn't careful i did fell hard or if i haven't i will not be writing here. We chatted almost daily and sometimes he goes to bed at 4 in the am there. I'm wondering now if i should tell the whole story but i guess i should. It was mere flirtation at first and no sexual innuendos whatsoever. i wasn't serious with him first i was ready to tell i already got a partner. But wheels turned. He's an artist which i myself am. He loves animals which I do too. Maybe its true his father left him at a very young age. My father left me when i was just 3 but only now had the guts to make up for all his short comings but that is another story.
We did met in an unusual place and ofcourse he made me feel so special that he can never hurt me. He was so considerate at first two months last year I think. Then came his younger brother. And he failed to message me then for i think 2 days without saying anything. By the way he is from the US and I'm here at the Philippines. i saw him he had read my messages but who will not worry of two days of no messages and u are long distance?
He actually did it again, not sure if my ex was the culprit. My mistake is i told my ex i was leaving him bcoz of a guy. I was trying to be calm breaking things with him but he was shouting at the phone so just to get back i blurted i'm leaving him for someone else. He did messaged my online guy he kept saying i was his wife in broken English and that there are so many girls out there that i was 32 and he was just 20.
Maybe guys do like the easy way out. it does hurt to be ignored and his last message my online guy is last jan. 3. He even failed to greet me a happy birthday. His last message was his mom was at the hospital. He did told me last year he will not be much on FaceBook this year coz he will be studying. Maybe i did answered my own questions. He makes an effort to even message me when he is working last year and he sometimes tells his friends i think closest one to tell me he had lost electricity that for awhile he can't contact me.
I'm hurt and i think no other people can understand. I guess I'm a fool for holding on when circumstances scream to my face "he doesn't damn care anymore about you". It is weird i'm holding on. He told me he will come this summer but its hard to expect. My fault is I expected too much. That i think this guy is already the one. But will hurt me so bad in the end. I did not even open my yahoomail linked to my facebook but i guess all i will find there is an empty inbox void of any message from him. Its hard to be left out without your significant other the one you will almost give your life to, will suddenly change and leave u in a snap, just like a hot potato he can no longer handle. Maybe i'm a fool on holding on. Stupid feelings say not to let go just yet.
One more thing I think which had foolishly makes me hold on for dear life is i sook help from a fortune teller. I have not opened my FaceBook then and she told me she still loves me that whatever words i said that can hurt his feelings he doesn't think about them much. But to be honest only a man in maybe in coma might fail to say happy birthday to his girlfriend.
you can see I'm so confused now. Fortune teller said he has no other girl. That, i know its kinda funny to say he is bound to marry me that i will have two kids with him.. which in this case is soo far from the truth with the situation.
Maybe I'm still in the process of healing.. but thank you in advance on what advice you will give to me.
Hi Jo Ann... First of all I apologize that it took me so long to get back to you as I was on vacation, but forgot to set the settings to allow everyone to know that I wouldn't be online until today.
After carefully reading your email... there are a few concerns of course... First of all... I don't believe age typically matters in a relationship, but in your situation he is very young. He is still trying to find his way. He may have gotten what he needed out of conversing with you and meeting you, but it doesn't appear that he wants it to go any further than it did. I'm sorry to say that, but I have to be honest. I don't think any of the "reasons" that you are analyzing as to why he is doing what he is doing matters because when someone is in love with you or cares about you they want you to be a part of their life. It shouldn't be as difficult as it is in your situation. IF he wanted to be with you he would make sure that he was doing everything that HE could do to make that happen. Thus, I would try to move on by learning from this experience and spend your time focusing on yourself and someone out there who is going to care about you as much if not more than you care about them. Your situation appears to have a lot of drama within it.... So, you may want to make it less drama full before you start a new relationship or situation. In the meantime... spend quality time with your family and friends... meet new people... start feeling good about yourself and then you will be able to make better decisions... Good luck and God Bless.