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How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/She got married after 1 month.


I met this nice girl in her work place. We liked each other. A couple of days later we were kissing at her apartment. We started dating, going out, spending nights together and we fall in love. We stayed like that for 4 months.
One day she told me that her parents want to force her to marry another guy (let's call him Ed). Ed is 10 years older than her. She saw this guy once when he came from the USA to see his sick father. He's a doctor and he's rich. She has always said that she doesn't like him because he's trying to buy her with his money so she won't marry him.
One month later, she had to leave to the USA for 2 weeks, where (Ed) lives. He transferred a 50 dollar credit to her phone and got her a massage cobone while she was there. She told me that she hated his attitude.
When she came back she was different. She started avoiding going out with me. Phone calls and messages decreased. I asked her what's all that about. She said my family is pushing me, so I wanna keep a safety distance between us two. She said also that her family is passing through some difficult situation and she wants to help them.
I was so annoyed with this behavioral change. I started to think intensely and make mistakes. I started to doubt her because I couldn't find any other explanation. We were talking on the phone one time and I said something bad about her father, I said your father wants to sell you for that other guy. She was hurt. I knew I made a mistake so I apologized. I said I'm sorry several times. I had to leave to another country to do an exam 3 weeks later. She treated me well for those 3 weeks in order not to confuse my studying. In these 3 weeks we didn't see each other although I planned to do so 2 times, talked to each other only 2-3 times. Told me in the last call that she left her job and traveling to the US where she found a new job. 2 days before my departure I noticed that she blocked me on Skype and What'sApp. I tried to see her to say bye before travelling but she couldn't. Called her on my departure day but she didn't pick-up. I left the country for 1 week to do my exam. Didn't email or call or message here during that week. When I came back I called her on the same day. Asked her why did she block me. She said she didn't (although she did, I could figure that out by using another SIM card). Then we started arguing. She said I hurt her by doubting her and talking wrong about her father. She said all her friends warned her from returning back to me! I apologized again, asked to see her. She refused to see me again. Told me that everyone has his own life. I mentioned that guy (Ed) during the argument, but she said if she's not marrying me, she's not marrying him also.... So we broke-up over the phone.
I asked a mutual friend to go and talk to her. She told him the same things, but at the end (after he insisted) she told him she's getting married. She said this new guy is going to help her and her family. My friend told me, and the next day I sent her an sms wishing her the best of luck in her life.
20 days later, I sent her an email with something she had asked for a couple of months earlier. I didn't express any emotions in this email. Her reply was: " Stop contacting me. I don't want anything from you. Leave me alone. Leave me alone." so now she hates me...
I kept stalking her using WhatsApp and twitter. She was posting that she's happy while I was broken-heart.
2 weeks later, the other guy (Ed) came from the USA. They got married after 2 weeks of meeting each other ( 1 month after our break-up). She married him although she knew him only for 2 months total!!. She kept posting his photos and other wedding photos. She didn't know that I see all that because she thinks I am blocked on whatsApp. A week later (which is yesterday) they left to the USA.
Now I am really depressed. I don't know what to do. She's now another man's wife, but I can't forget her. And if I try to do anything I may ruin her life which I won't do.
I can't understand how all her love turned to hate!! How could she marry another guy only 1 month after our break-up?!!

Hi M

I am so sorry for your loss.

Sometimes, very deep family loyalties and respect for elders plays a role in a girl's life on who she will marry. Parents selecting a suitable husband for one's daughter is a very old custom, but still happens sometimes. Also, she said she felt this man would provide something needed for her family so she felt she owed her family this.

While this may not be a very healthy way to begin a marriage, you have to respect her choices and move on.

Please get counseling from a fair and open counselor who can help you sort this out.

All the best to you -  

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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Sonya Snyder


All questions related to breaking up with someone in a mature, appropriate manner, based on the individual situation.


I have become something of a requested expert on the subject of how to break up with someone for the best possible outcome for both parties. I can help all ages with this advice.

BA Journalism, nearing completion of my MA, Forensic Psychology, continuing on to my Clinical Psychology PhD.

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