How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/Cheating


Last week, I accidentally found a very long series of Facebook conversations between my boyfriend "John" and some woman "Ann". I was ready to spend my life with John, we were togeter for nearly 3 years. I found that he had been having a very emotional, intimate relationship with Ann for at least a month. I immediately found where John was and broke up with him, I have spoken to him very little since and I have not seen him. Ann had a boyfriend who she was with for 2 years. I contacted her boyfriend "Ben" and told him about the relationship between my now-ex boyfriend and his girlfriend. Ben confronted Ann, she admitted it, he broke up with her, and then he thanked me for telling him. My ex John was acting completely remorseful and apologetic, crying about how he wanted to get back together... until I told Ben, then John's whole tone changed. He said I "ruined their lives" and I had no right to contact Ben and that Ann should have been able to tell Ben in her own time.. He's saying I did it out of spite, (but I didn't), and that I'm a terrible person for purposely enacting their break-up. Now John is saying he doesn't want to be with someone (me) who's capable of such a thing. He says that he knows what he did, and he hopes I know what I did, because "two wrongs don't make a right". I think he's lost it. I sincerely thought Ben deserved to know, and that's why I told him. We're all in our mid-late 20's. Did I do the right thing or the wrong thing by telling Ben he was being cheated on? Is John just finding a random way to try to blame me for this situation?

Hi Sarah,

Have you jumped up and down yet thanking God for revealing who this person was, yet? If not, stop reading and do so now!!!!!!

Ok, now after thanking God, let's reflect.

Your boyfriend has been cheating on you, lying to you, and you have found his latest dalliance (because once a cheater, always a cheater, and this most likely wasn't his first affair, by his REACTION to you in being caught.).

You did the right thing, the "do unto others" thing. The hard thing to do, regardless of the response....Imagine people knowing and not telling because they didn't want to get the hassle that follows such truth! GOOD JOB!

His  response to you when he didn't know you told her boyfriend was interesting, like he wanted to keep it going by lying to you more. Two is better than one, in his mind, it is the game he plays. A backup girl just in case. Who will be his next one?

This is all on him and now he has egg on his face. Let him clean it off. You exposed two people who enjoyed lying and cheating on others and living double lives. You just made my day. GO celebrate! Then check out this site to learn more about people who do this for a lifetime (especially the after lying blame game)  so you can avoid dealing with the pain of more of them in the future -  

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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Sonya Snyder


All questions related to breaking up with someone in a mature, appropriate manner, based on the individual situation.


I have become something of a requested expert on the subject of how to break up with someone for the best possible outcome for both parties. I can help all ages with this advice.

BA Journalism, nearing completion of my MA, Forensic Psychology, continuing on to my Clinical Psychology PhD.

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