How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/relationship


I have been a this on and off again long distance relationship since 2008. We met on a dating site in 2005, he is from Denmark(white 38 year old with no kids) and i am in Florida(black West Indian 45 yrs old with 2 teen-aged daughters 17 and 18). He came here several times and i have been there once. When we became serious in 2008 i asked him to please take down his profile he told me that he couldn't because he was a life-long gold member, so i left mine also just to be curious, later on several times during the years i noticed that he was still active on there and he was adding these females to his facebook we argued and stopped talking for awhile. He started back going to the university to obtain his Bachelors and just completed it in July. My oldest daughter asked me to go on the dating site but in Sweden so she can see what the guys look like, and there was his profile for Sweden NOT Denmark which showed that he was logged on a daily basis and his pictures was also up to date.. my heart broke immediately.. as i read the profile he listed that he wanted a woman with at least a bachelors degree(which i don't have) and i truly think he was speaking from his heart and soul about everything he was seeking that i wasn't! I called and texted him he said that i was stalking him and he just made up the profile to see if i was still checking up on him a longtime ago.. that was a lie cause in the profile it stated that he just finished school with his degree and that was in July. PLEASE HELP ME I AM SO BROKEN AND CONFUSED I CANT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE!

Tracy -

Congratulations - you have just outed a "Player"

Players NEVER change.

Cheaters will always cheat.

Don't you deserve better?

Accept no substitutes - and live by this:

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

Now go DANCE with joy,  that you finally got away, and NEVER go back or allow another player to manipulate you in the future -

Now go celebrate your freedom and how you escaped a lifelong set of pain.

Also view this web page below, and read all of it including the comments. Very likely you were with a sociopath or at the very least a malignant narcissist.

These people NEVER change no matter WHO they are with, or what the other person does to try to make it work. It just never will. Accept this, or waste your life trying in futility......

Consider yourself lucky and never look back. Go get counseling from someone who specializes in victims of psychopaths....because the healing rules are different for this....

Best to you,  

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Sonya Snyder


All questions related to breaking up with someone in a mature, appropriate manner, based on the individual situation.


I have become something of a requested expert on the subject of how to break up with someone for the best possible outcome for both parties. I can help all ages with this advice.

BA Journalism, nearing completion of my MA, Forensic Psychology, continuing on to my Clinical Psychology PhD.

©2017 All rights reserved.