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How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/How to get over a breakup after one year?

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Question
Hi Sonya.. I would to know how to get over a breakup after a year of crying, sobbing and grieving to man I spend my life for two whole years. for me, its hard to forget him because me and him share the same class and school. I always see him every single day. I know its weird to be in a relationship with a guy in the same class and see him everyday. listen to his voice talking at the back, watching him with another girl, see him laughing with his friends as if everything is okay. everything is fine and happy go lucky. he sat so close to me. I want to talk him but I can't. he so close to me yet so far. its hard. how could he smile after what he'd done to me. for me, I really need to forget him quickly because I can't move on with my life if I still love him.

Answer
Hello Evelyn

I know it is hard.....

It will be hard, but honor his decision, and do not pine for him - especially if he can see it or his friends can hear of it.  One thing that helps is to act the way you want to eventually feel, until it is how you feel. So when you are at school, act happy, upbeat, content and self assured. Be nice and positive to everyone equally.   Even if he sees you are fine and happy and begins to want you back, don't open that door again. He showed you who he was and how little he feels for your feelings - that is not what you want in a mate.

Your future success is a great goodbye to someone who didn't appreciate you. Be nice but just like acquaintances when you see him - not too close. Protect your feelings, and heal inside first.

Feel free to cry at night and even go to counseling on campus or at a church, where you can speak with someone and work out your feelings of pain and loss.

Feel the hurt feelings - don't stuff them or bottle them up - feel them, learn from them and move on - because you need to find out why you feel you cannot move on, and you need to - life is rich and full and many others can be good choices as mates - for there is someone out there who will appreciate you for you - and this guy did not, obviously.

Let him go - and heal. Then you can find true love on a different level - one where you don't need someone else to complete you, but that you want the company of a good person to share life with. Trust me, that will make you glad this one didn't work out.

Keep me posted as to your progress! You can do this!

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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Sonya Snyder

Expertise

All questions related to breaking up with someone in a mature, appropriate manner, based on the individual situation.

Experience

I have become something of a requested expert on the subject of how to break up with someone for the best possible outcome for both parties. I can help all ages with this advice.

Education/Credentials
BA Journalism, nearing completion of my MA, Forensic Psychology, continuing on to my Clinical Psychology PhD.

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