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How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/Lost my baby and my boyfriend broke up with me?

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Question
I am so sad, any advice or words of comfort would be appreciated. My heart feels so completely broken. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. I was 18 weeks pregnant, and a week ago, I found out that there was no heart beat and I lost the baby. I told my boyfriend and he was beyond upset. He cried and was just so depressed and sad. Then five days later after this, he out of the blue says he needs space and wants to break up. That he's not happy, and not sure how he feels any more and is confused about loving me. Its so weird, because prior to losing the baby we were doing really well. He was always telling me how much he loved me and missed me. things were good. and then suddenly we lost the baby, and he got depressed, and now he wants to break up? I feel like i'm dying inside. I am confused at what is going on. why is he doing this, it must have something to do with the baby in some way or form. things were good, I lose the baby, then 5 days later, he needs space to think about things, and says he's not sure if he loves me any more.and not sure if hes ready to be in a relationship.  What the heck is going on? Is he maybe just depressed because of the loss of the baby, and he is just handling it bad by pushing me away? or did he suddenly just stop loving me? or was he just with me cuz of the baby? what is going on? is it possible if I give him space, he may come back once he thinks about things? I just want to make sense of what is going on. I'm so heart broken right now. lost my baby and boyfriend in one week. :(

Answer
I am sorry to read about your loss. I can only imagine how heartbroken you must feel. In terms of your boyfriend, it seems like his way of communicating with you right now about his loss (his just as much as it is yours), is by separating himself from the relationship and giving himself the boundaries needed to regain composure. I am sure he still loves you, not a lot changes within 5 days. Fortunately, because he has told you how much he loves you, I am assuming he will come around soon enough. My best advice is to give him the space he requires. You will benefit from allowing the relationship to mature tremendously, since he will see that he is heard and respected.

Good luck,

Becky

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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Becky

Expertise

Any questions pertaining to relationships and break ups and how to deal with the aftermath of a break up. Break ups themselves require intense coping mechanisms to deal with the immense pain, which are ones in which I have dealt with myself personally and have researched extensively to be more well equipped.

Experience

Have been and is currently an Allexperts volunteer who deals with relationships and relationship issues daily. I have also myself gone through a tough break up from a relationship that lasted 5 years.

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Allexperts Chai Life Line

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Bachelors of Arts from York University Canadian Certified Teacher from Niagara University

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Allexperts

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