Expert: Julie - 10/3/2006

Question
Hi i'm Andrew, and i'm 15 years old...right now i am in alot of pain.Today my girlfriend broke up with me.The part that is so hard to deal with is that she has my son. She is 17 going on 18 in december.I made a huge mistake by having a child,but the problem is we are both extremely immature.We are always having trouble because i live in georgia and she lives in new york.I moved here about 4 months ago and thats how old my baby is. my mom could not stay in the same house because we lived in a apartment top and bottom.We have been together for two years,it just tears me up that we have a child and we are not going to be together in the future.The one thing i didnt want is for my son to be visiting back and forth to his mothers and fathers house. This is not the first time we broke up,she had broken up with me one time just because i had broken up with her before that.The point is that this girl is crazy about me.but we are always finding something to get mad at each other.I am going to have to deal with her my whole life.What should i do because i know she still has alot of feelings for me. I want to call so bad,but i dont want her to know i'm suffering so much because sooon or later she will use it to hurt me.Plz..get back to me .i just cant stop thining about her.  

Answer
Break ups are really hard, believe me, I know...Been there..a few times actually.  The thing is, obviously there were too many problems between the two of you to deal with..for now anyways..and yes although a break up is very painful sometimes its necessary in these situations. Since a baby is involved, I would definitly want to keep in contact with her if I were you..but try to keep the conversation on the baby, not on your feelings or her feelings or anything else personal...just act cool..
Trust me you won't always feel this way..you will eventually start to feel better, it just doesn't feel like that right now..
I wouldn't call her if I were you for at least a few days though so you have a chance to let everything sink in...

good luck...

Julie