Expert: Julie - 10/18/2006

Question
Me and my boyfriend seems like we break up every other week and this month makes a year since i catched him cheating. He begged me to take him back and I was stupid I did but its a year later and he's still with that stupid mess, and I'm angry with myself that I let him back in me and my kids life. And I just want to know what can I do to make sure I don't let him back in my life again. I always take him back cause I feel sorry for him because he seemed sincere like he was hurting but he continues to hurt me! I love him but do I not love myself enough to move on and find something better? I tend to get afraid because so many things going on in the world and you can't really trust anyone. But how do I know when i've had enough, because each time I take him back I thought I had enough the time before.

Answer
Oh I know what you mean..just when you think this is the final straw, they manipulate their way back into our lives! Thing is, however he is getting you to take him back is working so he knows how to work it with you...sounds like a manipulator.
The way I did it was I finally just told myself, nothings going to change, I'm not happy with him, I've been doing this for this long and nothings changing! So finally I just let him go and I was tempted to take him back believe me...but I told myself give it one more day, and I just ended up getting stronger and stronger..until I just didn't want him back anymore..
You yourself have to decide that this is it, your not with him because you have a great relationship and love him so much, its because you are addicted to him.
Leaving is hard and it will be hard, but once you get over that initial hump, you will start to enjoy life more and wonder why you didn't leave sooner. Now I look back (three months later) and life is sooo much better now..!! I can't believe I didn't do this a lot sooner.

Good luck...Julie