Expert: Julie - 8/17/2006

Question
Hi:

My Girlfriend and I have just broken up.  It's been a week today.

Last year we had an abortion, which went wrong and she ended up misscarying.  Times were tough.

Recently things have been strained, the fun has stopped.

We have run into each other twice now on nights out and it's been awkward.  Both times i visited her the day briefly and have tried to keep it light.  I wrote a letter to explain how I have been feeling.  Maybe this wasn't smart?

She says that she has been in this relationship for nearly three years and wants to experience single life.  But I know she still loves me.  She says seeing me makes it harder, and she hasn't been able to eat.  Both nights out with her friends were blow outs and she ended up crying last night after she saw me.

She said to her Mum that although it's over now she thinks we'll get back together maybe, in time.

She said today just give it time.

But I cant understand how anything between us cant be fixed.  You wouldn't believe how similar and how close we are.

It's tough.  And I know I have to give her that space, but I wish there was a rule of thumb as to how long this is going to take.  Or something I could do or say to change things.

I know she misses me too.

Help?  

Answer
No the best thing to do is give her space..of course the  break up is hard on both of you, but its what she feels she needs to do right now and as hard as that is, you need to respect that.

I wouldn't wait though..don't put your life on hold for someone, not ever. I made that mistake only to find out he found someone else, what a waste of time. So go on with your life, do what ever makes you happy and if the time comes where she wants to come back and you feel the same, then you guys can decide where to go from there!

Good luck...Julie