Expert: Julie - 8/16/2006

Question
Previous Question
hi, i was with this girl for 6 months, and she broke up with me last week. she basically said that she didnt appriciate me and like me as much as she should. she said that until and if she realizes that she does appricaite me, then we will be back together, if not, then we wont. she said she still wants to be my good friend, and dosent want to loose me as a friend. wen we broke up she said that the only way for her to maybe appricate me is if i be an ass and ignore her and then she will realize that she misses me and all. well i ignore her calls nowadays and talk to her a couple of times a day. well today i called her in the nite and she was talkin to another guy. wat shall i do, do u think she'll realize and come back to me, or not. I really love this girl to death and want her back as my girl friends soo badly. please help

Previous Answer
Sounds to me like she's playing games...if she really liked you she'd know. But she obviously wants to date other guys and keep you around just in case things don't work out with anyone else...
Its hard to say if she'll realize she really likes you enough to come back, but in the meantime, I wouldn't stick around waiting for her to make up her mind. She's most likely going out and having fun while you sit around pining for her...
Go out, try to have some fun! What if she never comes back, do you really want to have wasted all this time? Move on and if she decides to come back then see how you feel...but I wouldn't call her, try to go a few days before calling her again...you'll start to feel better after a while....

Good luck..Julie  

New Question
U were right, she was going out and partying and meetin new ppl, i finally talked to her today after a week or so. she didnt find ne one and isnt going out with neone, and the guy who she was talkin to on the fone was just a friend. but she said she cant take the not talking ne more and its killing her, and really wants to be friends. I dont kno wat to do.. i want her as more then a friend. she said she might never like me enuff to go out with again. and she cant take the not talkin to me, as she misses me a LOT. wat shall i doo. shall i continue not takin to her risking ending everything, or shall i be her friend, but then she might think everything is fine, and continue just being friends..   

and also do u think we can be freinds and still continue kissing and making out.. and not being boyfriend / girlfriend ? just a thought , im wondering if we did that, do u think she might realize that she does like me enuff..

im just sooo confused right now. and its killing me..
please help..

Answer
Unfortunatly theres nothing you can do to make her like you enough...feelings are usually cut and dry, either you like someone or you don't..and how much..
Thing is she's being totally selfish...I'm sure she does miss you and she only wants to be friends so its easier on HER..even though its gonna be harder on YOU...

Its hard to be friends with someone you still have strong feelings for and want to be with, and you will always be stuck wanting her while she does her own thing.
She hasn't met anyone YET so she wants to keep your around for the attention she obviously craves.
But then once she does meet someone she likes a lot, don't be surprised when she dumps your friendship like a hot potato, trust me, I've seen it happen many times!!
And it will happen..she will eventually find someone else and then what? Thats when she stops talking to you and hanging around with you and thats when you will get extremely hurt and start over with the grieving process..when you could already have been moving on...

I know its hard and I know you want to be there for her..but too bad if she hates it that you are not talking to her, like I said she's keeping you around for her own selfish reasons, NOT because theres a chance you two will ever be together again...
Keep doing what you are doing, if she decides her feelings are stronger for you and wants you back, she will contact you and let you know. In the meantime, cut her out of your life! I can GUARANTEE she will hurt you more if you don't.

Julie