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How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups/Questions Answered by Expert Dana Q

Subject	Date Asked
break up	4/24/2010
Q: i am 60 and the man who was my boyfriend for 2 1/2 months is 58. we met in a 12 step meeting. I ... A: I think you are very right to be concerned here. While it is understandable that your history of ...
I am just confused!!	5/28/2009
Q: First, I want to thank you for your work you are doing to help people like me. I think I will write ... A: Peter, She may be regretting her actions and looking for a second chance. I would be very hesitant ...
verbally abusive hubby	5/27/2009
Q: im 21, he's 24. we have a 2 month old baby. we're not married yet.he is a very responsible person. i ... A: Yes, it definitely sounds to me as though your husband is abusing you. This is not a situation that ...
I am just confused!!	5/27/2009
Q: First, I want to thank you for your work you are doing to help people like me. I think I will write ... A: I think it is very possible that your former girlfriend was too young and immature to settle down ...
Should I stay or go?	5/26/2009
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for four years and we are still very much in love. Three years ago we ... A: Since you are still very much in love with your boyfriend, I think you should give couples' ...
How to deal with unresolved feelings	5/26/2009
Q: My girlfriend "B" (27) and I (29) had a terrible breakup on her birthday two months ago after a ... A: Yes, these feelings will absolutely subside. Since you already felt as though you were moving on ...
I think I made a HUGE mistake breaking up with my girlfriend	5/25/2009
Q: I have been with my girlfriend for going on 4 years in December. We have always been very close and ... A: I think you both need time to think. It has only been 5 days, and you may just be second-guessing ...
Breakup after LTR with dogs.	2/16/2009
Q: My bf and I have dated for 10 years. He is 35 (divorced) and I am 27. Two years ago we bought an ... A: I am going to side with your family and friends here by saying that I don't think this man is right ...
What should I do?	2/10/2009
Q: I was dating a man for 6 months and we recently broke up about 3 weeks ago. He was a nice person, ... A: First off, let me say that I think you are being too easy on this guy. Lying about things as basic ...
Confused	2/10/2009
Q: My bf and I broke up 6 weeks ago..its been tough as we do work together. At first it was a 'timeout' ... A: He may just be looking for you to stroke his ego and say you miss him too, or he may have decided ...
Lonely and homeless	2/10/2009
Q: I'm writing to you because I need support. My live-in bf of little over a year decided to break-up. ... A: I am sorry to hear about your break-up. Since I don't know all the ins and outs of your previous ...
my boyfriends of 2.5 years suddenly broke up with me, and doesn't contact me anymore	2/7/2009
Q: I already submitted this question yesterday. Unfortunately, I gave the wrong email address. I'm ... A: I didn't see an actual question in your letter, so I'll respond thinking that you just want my ...
What is Wrong With Me?	2/6/2009
Q: , I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. He's a great guy. Really attentive, ... A: It sounds to me like you are more in love with the idea of love than with this guy. Otherwise you ...
The Break Up	2/2/2009
Q: About a month ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. Well, to be technical, he broke up with me. He was ... A: What you are going through is very common; it's natural to cling to the past and wish things could ...
Post break up dating	1/7/2009
Q: I recently went through a long, painful brake up with my boyfriend of two years. The reason it was ... A: It definitely sounds like honesty is the best policy here. Keep the first meeting light, but if he ...
Adding to-how to move on after 5 year....	1/6/2009
Q: I just read over my question I had asked and I wanted to clarify some things. Starting out with we ... A: Yes, I definitely think it is time for you to end this relationship. This guy does not want to be ...
Dating Conflict	11/18/2008
Q: I take my girlfriend out on a date when I can. I, like alot of people am not rich and she knows ... A: Yes, I think you are being used. It's clear that your girlfriend is more interested in what you can ...
time and space	11/8/2008
Q: me and my boyfriend have just broke up after two and a half years.I am finding it hard to let go. We ... A: My general advice regarding break-ups is to make a clean break rather than to try to remain ...
Recently broken up with the one	11/3/2008
Q: I am 30 and she is 29. About a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months and am trying to ... A: I think you might be looking at this from the wrong angle. You're telling me that she was "the ...
How do I get my life back on track?	11/1/2008
Q: This is an incredibly long, convoluted story, so please bear with me. Thank you for your ... A: Well, to start off, I have to disagree with you about being "stuck" in this marriage. As a child of ...
my problem	10/26/2008
Q: I am writing you because my boyfriend of a year and a half betrayed me with anyother woman. He is ... A: You are very lucky to be rid of this man. Any guy who punches you, even once, is not right for you. ...
end of relationship	10/9/2008
Q: I was involved with a lovely young woman for almost two years. I am 28 she is twenty seven. Our ... A: Anthony, It could have been a plan, or it could have just been she thought she wanted to be with ...
end of relationship	10/7/2008
Q: I was involved with a lovely young woman for almost two years. I am 28 she is twenty seven. Our ... A: Unfortunately, I do think this woman used you. You did absolutely nothing wrong here, except to ...
Giving him a second chance	9/25/2008
Q: My boyfriend (age 22) and I (age 19) were together for four years, and we broke up about 4 months ... A: I think you are doing the right thing by staying on your own. I can understand why you're finding ...
Love Triangle - What happens after she chooses	9/20/2008
Q: I got involved with a woman who ended a two year relationship after meeting me. She still loved him ... A: I think it would be best to move on from this relationship. This is a woman who either is not ...
Relationship Breakup	9/17/2008
Q: I met a man online and we spent a lot of time together, as well as talking on the phone for about 3 ... A: I think that three weeks of no contact means he has moved on at this point. Contacting him now, ...
She wants to take a break	9/14/2008
Q: I have been dating this girl for about 3 months now, though we were never officially ... A: Unfortunately, I think the only thing you can do here is give her time, knowing full well that she ...
Ending a 7 year relationship	9/2/2008
Q: I have been with my partner for 7 years. Due to circumstances, we moved in together straight away. ... A: I think it probably is time for you to move on, and I don't think it will be as much of a surprise ...
We're in love so we broke up	8/26/2008
Q: I have been separated from my wife of 15 years for the last two years. She has been fighting the ... A: I think you are definitely making the right decision by moving on from your relationship with this ...
Followup From Previous Topic	8/25/2008
Q: This is a followup from the previous question and answer. I hope you still remember my situation. My ... A: I don't think she is trying to be friends on the same level you were before. She probably just ...
Should I Give Up hope of getting back together	8/24/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I were in a relationship (of 7 years) where the good times were good, and the bad ... A: It is hard for me to imagine that your girlfriend will be able to recover emotionally from what you ...
Need help	8/21/2008
Q: I have a very complicated situation for you that I hope you can make sense of. I apologize in ... A: Tyler, Thanks for the details; they helped me make a better decision. Please understand that it is ...
Now what do I do?	8/20/2008
Q: I broke up two weeks ago, with a good woman, I'll call her M. We met last Sept online, but since ... A: P, If you genuinely feel that you won't allow yourself to get sucked back in to a relationship that ...
left by phone	8/16/2008
Q: I am a 28 year old female and was dating a 33 year old male. We had been together for 4 years. One ... A: Wow. What a cowardly and immature way to break up with someone you've been with for four years! ...
Now what do I do?	8/16/2008
Q: I broke up two weeks ago, with a good woman, I'll call her M. We met last Sept online, but since ... A: First of all, I think you are being way too hard on yourself. Recognizing that someone isn't right ...
I dont know weather to stay with him or not ?	8/15/2008
Q: i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. I'm still young only going on 18 and he will ... A: You need to leave your boyfriend now. He is verbally and emotionally abusing you. There is no ...
please help me	8/14/2008
Q: . I'm 20 years old with a 11 1/2 month old beautiful baby boy... I got pregnant when I was 18 and ... A: You have not done anything wrong at all. Your son's father is abusive and a terrible parent. You ...
Painful Break-up	8/14/2008
Q: I am 29 years old and my ex is 33. I was with him for 4 years and it was a pretty good ... A: As painful as this is, I think you narrowly escaped making a big committment to someone who didn't ...
did I make a mistake? Why do I feel so regretful?	8/11/2008
Q: I am nearing my 30s and all my life, i never dated because I was so focused on school. As I got a ... A: Well, I don't necessarily think that he had a singular motive. Not every foreign person who wants ...
Dating Again	8/10/2008
Q: I didn't date for almost 3 years. After a few years of dating, I met a man in July of 2005 that I ... A: I think you're absolutely right to not want to discuss your past relationships with him; doing that ...
Is it over??	8/9/2008
Q: I'm so confused... everything was really great between us...He was the one that initiated ALL ... A: I don't think you're overreacting. It does seem like he has chosen a cowardly way to end the ...
Breakup	8/8/2008
Q: How do you deal with a breakup that you might have caused by pushing him away? I had dated someone ... A: You didn't push him away - you made a responsible, intelligent decision to get out of an unhealthy ...
Recent Breakup	8/5/2008
Q: I am 23 turning 24 and my now ex is 22 turning 23. We were together for almost 2 yrs (this coming ... A: Well, I think given the history he has of letting you go and panicking to get you back, it's not ...
Followup From Previous Topic	8/4/2008
Q: This is a followup from the previous question and answer. I hope you still remember my situation. My ... A: Good to hear from you again. Your ex is texting you because she considers you a friend and is ...
Help with breakup	8/3/2008
Q: I am a 41yr old lady who has had a relationship with a younger man for over 4 years. He was quite ... A: Since it has been 5 months and you are still unable to move on, I think it might be best for you to ...
I am doubting my trust in my b.f	8/1/2008
Q: I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We have been dating for 3 years this August. We've been ... A: I think that what you're experiencing is natural because he will be in a new situation this year. ...
should i leave him or stay? im confused	7/30/2008
Q: please i need your candid advice, i have been dating this guy for over three years, we have been ... A: You need to leave this relationship NOW. He is abusing you physically and emotionally, and it is ...
i love her but i left	7/25/2008
Q: I am very confused and was hoping you could help... I am madly in love with my girlfriend, I can see ... A: This is a sad and difficult situation, and you have my sympathy. Unfortunately, many people with ...
I feel the end could be near.	7/23/2008
Q: I'm 21, my girlfriend's 23, and we've been having issues for the past 7 or 8 weeks. We've been ... A: First, let me thank you for your positive feedback; it means a lot to me. It sounds like overall ...
When do you know when to say When?	7/23/2008
Q: My boyfriend, of six years, father has Alzheimer’s and he is dying. He is not expected to make it ... A: I feel that you should be with him at these events since you have been his partner for the last six ...
Stopping an Abusive Relationship	7/22/2008
Q: My daughter, "Jan", and her "boyfriend" "Ken" are both 35 yrs. old. Things were fine until Ken lost ... A: Don't believe anything he says; he's just trying to scare her because he knows what would really ...
Time to move on?	7/21/2008
Q: I have been in a relationship for a little over a year. Going into the relationship, I knew it would ... A: I think you should forget about this. Anyone who tells you to your face that he's not sure he wants ...
I feel the end could be near.	7/18/2008
Q: I'm 21, my girlfriend's 23, and we've been having issues for the past 7 or 8 weeks. We've been ... A: I think you are being too hard on yourself here. First of all, there is nothing wrong with looking ...
advice on husband please	7/16/2008
Q: I'm 26 and have been married to the man who was my first boyfriend for 4 years now. I love him but ... A: Since you say you have been married for four years and he has been acting this way for "a few ...
break up	7/15/2008
Q: I'm 26, and she is 31. It was a 5-year relationship, and we've lived together for 3 years. We were ... A: You did the right thing by breaking up with her. It wasn't fair to her to keep leading her on, and ...
How to Break Up	7/10/2008
Q: I have been living with a guy since November of last year, we have been seeing each other since June ... A: I think gentle honesty is the key here. Normally, I would tell you to leave out the part about ...
Am I being selfish?	7/7/2008
Q: My name is Santhi, 47 yrs old divorcee with 2 daughters age, 27 and 21. I divorced after a 20 yr ... A: You are not being selfish. Your instincts are telling you that there is something wrong with this ...
friendship with the ex.. now that he has a girlfriend	7/4/2008
Q: . my ex Dave and I have been friends for 5 years.. two of which we were dating.. we broke up about 3 ... A: Sudha, I think you're right to keep your suspicions to yourself and maintain a fair amount of ...
friendship with the ex.. now that he has a girlfriend	7/3/2008
Q: . my ex Dave and I have been friends for 5 years.. two of which we were dating.. we broke up about 3 ... A: Well, I think you're right to be concerned about Dave's girlfriend. She sounds like she has a lot ...
acceptance	7/3/2008
Q: i simplyhave one last question. my ex has confirmed that it IS over, and that she doesnt want to ... A: Sorry to hear that you didn't get the response from her that you hoped for. My first advice would ...
How do i get my ex back?	7/3/2008
Q: We have been going out for a year and a month and then broke up one month ago in May because she ... A: Jeremy, Listen to what she has said to you: "Don't force things and let it come back naturally." ...
Followup for John	7/2/2008
Q: Dana! This is a question from your previous follow-up: ... A: There is a very strong possibility that they were seeing each other during your relationship due to ...
heartach	7/2/2008
Q: My GF of 2+ years and I broke up a wk ago, and Im having a VERY rough time. The first 7 months of ... A: I wish I could give you a more hopeful answer, but I agree with your friends - it's over and you ...
How do i get my ex back?	7/2/2008
Q: We have been going out for a year and a month and then broke up one month ago in May because she ... A: Unfortunately, I think that you have to accept that the relationship is over. She has someone new ...
Is there anything left to fix?	7/2/2008
Q: I'm 25, my boyfriend is 35 and we've been together for 5 years. We have been fighting and according ... A: It sounds to me like the fact that you broke up isn't necessarily a bad thing. After 5 years and no ...
What to do	7/1/2008
Q: I had been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year and a half and last week we ... A: This sounds like a positive situation with a chance for reconciliation. The fact that she is still ...
Hi Again. Flowers or no?	6/29/2008
Q: You gave me advice on what to do in regards to staying away from my ex-girlfriend (contact wise: ... A: You are doing the right thing by waiting for her to contact you rather than contacting her. She has ...
Is there any chance for us - cant imagine meeting anyone like him	6/28/2008
Q: I am a 27 yr. old single woman. I own my own business and have supported myself since graduating ... A: I apologize for the delay in my response; I have been traveling recently. Unfortunately, I think ...
Hi Again. Flowers or no?	6/27/2008
Q: You gave me advice on what to do in regards to staying away from my ex-girlfriend (contact wise: ... A: John, Sorry to hear about your dad's illness. Given everything you've told me, I would still send ...
I think he dumped me but still confused	6/26/2008
Q: I met a man on an internet dating site he is 46 yrs-old and I am 49. We met and it was instant ... A: I understand your frustration and disappointment over this situation. It sounds to me like Bob has ...
considering breaking up	6/25/2008
Q: First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to read this. I have been with my girlfriend ... A: It sounds to me as though you really want to end this relationship, but that you're staying in it ...
How to win her heart back...possibility? or no?	6/25/2008
Q: "Hi Dana! My girlfriend just broke up with me after 6 years of being in a relationship. We are both ... A: John, Sending the flowers would be nice. However, I would probably limit the card to saying "Good ...
Preparing for a break-up	6/24/2008
Q: First off I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this. I am a 23 year-old female, dating ... A: I don't know if this is going to lead to a break-up, but something is off with him. You should ...
Shoudl I break up?	6/24/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I have had a great relationship until the past 3 months. At first she started ... A: Well, I assume from your letter that your behavior towards her hasn't changed in the past three ...
crazy ex boyfriend won't let it go	6/23/2008
Q: I dated this guy off and on (mostly on) for 8 years. I am 26 and he is 27, we have 3 kids together. ... A: You and your kids need to leave immediately. You do need to get the police involved, but you also ...
How to win her heart back...possibility? or no?	6/23/2008
Q: "Hi Dana! My girlfriend just broke up with me after 6 years of being in a relationship. We are both ... A: John, Definitely give her her space. It's probably best to wait to talk to her after the exam. As ...
break up	6/23/2008
Q: I just turned 33 and he's 40 dating a yr. he did things that made me feel he was cheating (hiding ... A: Be glad you are rid of this loser. He sounds completely selfish and shallow. He probably was ...
How to win her heart back...possibility? or no?	6/22/2008
Q: "Hi Dana! My girlfriend just broke up with me after 6 years of being in a relationship. We are both ... A: It sounds like your girlfriend is confused about what she wants. First of all, this is a stressful ...
Divorce in the making	6/19/2008
Q: My birthday is 8/21/72. I have brown eyes, and hair. I have been with my husband for 19 years. We ... A: Well, let me first say that you should count yourself lucky that you won't be married to this man ...
i left him	6/16/2008
Q: So here is my situation. I was with this one man that was very emotionally abusive for over 10 ... A: I think you did the right thing by asking him to take a break. It sounds to me like you may have ...
How to end it	6/14/2008
Q: I feel bad dumping my problems on my friends so I thought I would give this a try. I have been ... A: I am glad to hear that you want to break up with your girlfriend. She is not overstressed; she is ...
Break-up, not sure how to handle things	6/12/2008
Q: I have a problem I'm hoping you can help me with. I have been with my ex for 3 years up until ... A: This is a very tough situation. Your ex is young, impressionable, and probably more than a little ...
break-up	6/11/2008
Q: I have been dating this guy for a little over 2 years now. We recently just got our own apt or ... A: There's no need to worry about sounding high maintenance; this guy is an abusive loser and you need ...

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How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups

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Dana Q

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Expertise

I can answer all questions related to break-ups - including knowing when it is time to move on, freeing yourself from unhealthy and abusive relationships, coping with the loss of a relationship, and strategies for re-entering the dating scene when you are ready. Please include the age of both people involved in the relationship, the amount of time you have been together, and any misgivings or doubts you have about the relationship so that I may give you the best answer possible. Long, complicated questions aren't a problem - I would rather have too much information than not enough!

Experience

I went through a series of bad relationships prior to finding true love with my husband of 4 years. I frequently was the one who ended these unhealthy relationships, including one where I was involved with an emotionally and verbally abusive person.

Education/Credentials
Two B.A. degrees - Literature and French

Awards and Honors
Graduated magna cum laude.

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