Expert: Julie - 10/15/2006

Question
I was engaged to my ex for the past 3 1/2 yrs. We were together for 4 yrs. Everything had moved on rather quickly on his part and I went with flow. I can't even count how many times we were broken up in the past 4yrs...it has to be at least 15 times, most of it were my decision and when he did break up with me, he went all out just to be a jerk about it. We went thru so much stuff and that got me thinking, "Does it really have to be this hard just to be with someone you love?" There's always a part of me that believes that it can't possibly this difficult just to stay in a relationship. Because of that I started doubting my feeling and the whole relationship itself.
Recently I found out he kissed a girl and they stayed in contact thru emails months after(probably bout 2-3 emails per month) that happened. She lives in another state but they met at his best friend wedding as friend of friends. By the way, we've been long distance for the past 3 1/2 yrs too, he just recently moved back here. The kiss happened about a month after he got here. After we broke up, I've decided that I still love him but a week later I broke up with him again.
My question is, do you think that relationship is even worth it for me to forget and forgive?
I am dating another guy also out of vengeance and bitterness, of course. But I honestly am not interested in him, he's just available at the right time and place. He's such a nice guy too and I feel really bad. I've been trying so hard to forget my ex, but after everything we went thru, it's not easy. This was also my 1st long term relationship because I am a commitment phobe!

Answer
If a relationship is so much trouble, its really not worth it! The only thing that will happen is a break up in the end..so theres no point in wasting anymore time than you already have.

Relationships should never be this hard..and if your ex was already getting to know some other girl, obviously he wasn't ready for a commitment either.

If I were you i'd continue to move on, do things that make you happy (try not to hurt people along the way, at least let this guy you are seeing know that you want nothing serious at the moment!)
Good luck...Julie