Expert: Julie - 8/6/2006

Question
Julie,

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 4 years.  we dated in high school for 2 and then broke up for 1 year and found eachother again... In that time, I hit rock bottom.  I was so depressed, crying everynight for over 9 months.  I finally moved on and we became friends and couldn't be without eachother so we started dating again.  The thing I didnt realize is how much I matured, and how much he did not.  It has been 9 months now, and I couldn't tell you what I mean to him.  He desires so much in his heart to be with his friends, sometimes when he talks to me and tells me he loves me and that he cares I think hes just bull shitting, I dont find him sincere at all.  He hurts me often bc he doesnt pay enough attention to me. We are young and I dont want to take him away from his friends but I feel like we are at two seperate places in our lives. I need to know what to do, because I cant see myself with out him, yet I am so hurt,. stressed and weak because of him.  Please help me
Christina

Answer
Sounds like you have outgrown this relationship...thing is once a relationship is outgrown, and you are no longer happy in it, its time to get out. You may still love him but you two are no longer compatible. I know its hard, I've had to leave relationships in the past that I outgrew, even though I still loved my boyfriend but it wasn't fair to either of us to  continue, it just ends up being too much trouble, and too stressful.

I think its time you did both of yourselves a favor and just leave...it'll be hard but in the long run its better for both of you.

Good luck...Julie