Expert: Julie - 8/28/2006

Question
I broke up with my girlfriend about 9 months ago.. throughout the relationship i didn't really appreciate her, i was so caught up in myself that i didn't give her the chance she deserved. She tried endlessly to win me back, she held on and wanted to get back together for quite awhile. I had heard rumors that she was cheating on me but i don't know if they were true..
Today I am with someone else but i can't seem to get my ex off my mind, i think about her constantly.. but i'm not positive that i do want to get back with her.. We haven't talked for awhile because things got sour at the end..

Should i contact her? Should i tell my current partner about my feelings? Should i try to go back into her life even with the risk of upsetting her again?

Answer
Its normal to not be completely over an ex even 9 months later, but just because you can't stop thinking about her doesn't mean you two are meant to be. You guys broke up for a reason. And those reasons won't just go away and then you risk going thru it again. You yourself said your not sure you want to get back together again. I would leave things where they are, in the past..and eventually your feelings for her will fade. And I also wouldn't bother telling the new girlfriend about your feelings either, it doesn't benefit anyone.

Good luck..Julie