About Adam Expertise I am dedicated to helping men and women get maximum results in the least amount of time, I answer all dating questions from approaching to how to to handle a break-up. Be specific with your questions to better help me work with you on what to do in your particular situation.
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Expert: Adam Date: 6/15/2006 Subject: I want him back
Question Adam-
Okay, so I see your point. I am making myself WAY too available. I sorta realized that on my own and have decided to lay low for awhile. I just hope it's not too late. Just do me a favor....don't tell me that I can do better. I am so sick of hearing that from people! I don't think that any relationship is perfect, but ours was nothing to complain about. So I guess my next question is, does this really work? I just feel that if I quit calling and act like I've moved on, that he'll do the same. He'll figure, "well, she's moved on, why shouldn't I?" I'm not really into the whole game playing thing, I just want to get my boyfriend back. Really. So if you think not talking to him for awhile will work, I'll give it a shot. But then what? I know that I go crazy everyday he doesn't call. Tell me how a man's mind works. I just don't want to lose him anymore than I already have. Thanks.
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Followup To
Question -
Dear Adam-
My live-in boyfriend of three years and I decided three months ago to take a break. I had moved out becuase he hadn't been working, but now he has a job and I want him back. He tells me that he wants to get back together some day, but he doesn't know when. He just wants to be single for now. We talk everyday, and hang out a couple times a week (and no, it's not just for sex). Recently, he has started seeing a much older woman. He assures me that they aren't dating and he still wants me in his life. I love him, and I understand if he needs his space and time, but how long do I wait? He days he doesn't want a realtionship with anyone, but if he wants be back eventually, why is he seeing her? Will he really take me back? Or will his realtionship with this woman develop into more? I wonder if he is just trying to get back at me for moving out. What do you think?
Answer -
Hello,
When it comes to dating and relationships the person who shows the least emotion is the one who controls that relationship, when a guy or girl tells you that you have a chance of dating again you should respond with do you honestly think I am going to wait around?
Do you want to be the back burner or the fall back plan? Absolutely not and that is why starting this moment you are going to take action over your own life and focus less on his. Of course he wants you in his life why not? You are the replacement girl and you’re alright with that than feel free. I would move on and start making new friends and meeting new people and when calls me keep it short between 5-10 minutes telling him you need to get going you are meeting up with a new friend.
You want to put in his mind that you are alright with this and that you are moving on with your life and that he had his chance but took that for granted you see he told you himself he wants to be single and have fun so why the hell should you be waiting around when you know damn well that you could do better hmm? Answer that question by emailing me at my business email Manenoughpros@gmail.com.
Come on how long should you wait? Well how about this if he was dating another girl right now and told you to wait would you? You need to be fair to yourself and letting him take you for granted is something I do not agree with.
I think you need to let this guy go.
The less available and more scarce and busy you are the less attention you show him the more he will want to get back with you and if not than you will be better off anyway.
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Best regards,
Adam
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Answer You are taking a gamble but lets face it what you are doing now isn't working so what do you have to lose? You have already lost it so the best thing that could happen is that you will both move on.
I will tell you again you can do better in your eyes no but when it is all said and done with you will see that the people whom are closest were right all along.
Ok now here is what you do! if you stop talking altogether than yes I can see your point if you talk to him and keep it short 5-10 minutes and keep it simple staying off topics that involve you as a couple and play it a bit distant than yes! it will work if done right if done wrong than you will be in no worse of a situation than you are already it.
Basically you are being a challenge and that is attractive to men as well as for women so it isn't how you or I work it is how the human mind works.
