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Breastfeeding/1 month fights the breast

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My son only nurses freely about 50% of the time. The rest of the time he will latch on, suckle for a few SECONDS, and then, almost violently, snatch his face away. We repeat this process 7 or 8 times before I can get him to stay on. I know he is hungry and he wants it because if I pull my shirt down, he continues to turn towards my breast and smack his lips or try to suck through my shirt. Is it normal to have to "fight" him like this?

Answer
Dear Erika,

First, congratulations for giving your son the best start in life by breastfeeding him!

There are a number of possible reasons why he may be having so much trouble suckling.
1) You may have so much milk that it comes too quickly for him to swallow & he may feel as if he is choking. The remedy for this is to express a little first before a feeding.
2) He may not be able to breathe well, if he has a stuffed nose or if his nose gets pressed into your breast. If this is the case, be sure to hold him so that his nose is free.
4) Your nipples may be large and his mouth small. You may need to pump milk for a little while and feed it to him in a cup or through a tube.
3) He may have some condition that makes suckling difficult, like a short frenulum connected to the tongue. Your doctor can clip this.
4) Or he may be among those infants who, right from birth, fight being held and fight being nursed. As I write in my book (see below), "You're not doing anything wrong; you just have a baby whose personality makes it hard for him to settle into your arms and onto your breast. You need to experiment with ways to calm your baby and to find a position that he will accept. You also need to remember that your baby is not rejecting you and that you are not to blame. You may need to express your milk for a while and feed it to your baby by cup, dropper, or nursing supplementer, until he feels comfortable in the nursing situation. One mother finally got her baby to nurse by leaning over him and dangling her breast into his mouth."

I suggest that you contact a lactation consultant (LC) and let her watch you nurse your son, to see whether she can diagnose the source of the difficulty. See if your pediatrician has an LC in the practice, or contact the LC at the hospital where you gave birth. Or contact the International Lactation Consultant Association (ILCA) for the name of an LC in your area. Email: info@ilca.org or phone: 919-861-5577 or go to the website: www.ilca.org.

Good luck!

Sally

Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters.  

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Sally Wendkos Olds

Expertise

What do you want to know about breastfeeding? I can tell you what`s good for the baby, what`s good for the mother -- and the father, how it`s related to a woman`s sexuality, how working moms can nurse, how to overcome obstacles, and lots more. As the author of THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING and author or coauthor of 8 other books and more than 200 articles about child and adult development, I can offer sound, sensible advice on breastfeeding, child care and family issues.

Experience

I nursed my 3 daughters and am the grandmother of 5 breastfed children. My book THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING (written in consultation with pediatrician Marvin S. Eiger, M.D.) was first published in 1972, and in 1999 came out in an updated 3rd Edition by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books. It is now a classic, with over 2 million copies in print. I am now revising this book for a fourth edition, consulting with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D. This new edition will be published September 2009. I welcome any and all suggestions for the new edition. I coauthored college textbooks A CHILD'S WORLD: INFANCY THROUGH ADOLESCENCE, and HUMAN DEVELOPMENT; both are leading texts in their fields and have been read by 2 million students. I am the coauthor of HELPING YOUR CHILD FIND VALUES TO LIVE BY and RAISING A HYPERACTIVE CHILD, and author of THE WORKING PARENTS' SURVIVAL GUIDE & THE ETERNAL GARDEN: SEASONS OF OUR SEXUALITY. My newest book, A BALCONY IN NEPAL: GLIMPSES OF A HIMALAYAN VILLAGE, published in 2002, tells the story of the way of life in a remote village in Nepal, where all the women breastfeed! My book, SUPER GRANNY: COOL PROJECTS, ACTIVITIES, AND OTHER GREAT STUFF TO DO WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS, will be published March 2009. I speak often to professional, parent and general audiences and make many radio and TV appearances.

Credentials I received my B.A. in English Literature from the University of Pennsylvania, where I minored in Psychology, was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated summa cum laude.

Other points of interest I have received national awards for my writing, and am a former president of the American Society of Journalists & Authors. I am listed in the World Who's Who of Women, International Authors & Writers Who's Who, and Contemporary Authors, and am a member of several professional and civic organizations. I believe: that all parents are working parents; that parents employed outside the home need special support; that mothers' well-being is crucial to their children's welfare; and that the family is the best institution in the world and the one for which we are least prepared. My thrills come when parents or kids tell me they were helped by my writing or speaking or just understanding. To find out more about me, go to

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