Expert: Sally Wendkos Olds - 1/26/2008

Question
My son will be 2 next month and we just stopped breastfeeding last week. I have always had a great milk supply and yet I have had a regular monthly periods the whole time,since ABOUT 5 weeks old. My question is what can I expect to change in my body. I had to just make my mind up on when we would stop, he ask about his ninnies, I just tell him they are empty and we go on. So praise God that he doesn't beg or cry 'cause I would have to give in,
Thanks

Answer
Dear Cindy,

First, congratulations for giving your son the very best start in life by breastfeeding him!

You're lucky that your son accepts the fact that your "ninnies" are empty! I devote an entire chapter in my book (see below) to weaning, and I am attaching an excerpt about the changes you can expect in yourself -- both physical and emotional. I hope you have an easy time of it.

Good luck!

Sally
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Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters. Now in revision for a fourth edition, with Laura M. Marks, M.D.
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  HOW WEANING AFFECTS YOU
PHYSICAL CHANGES
When you stop breastfeeding, your body will undergo a number of physiological changes as your hormonal balance reverts to what it was before you became pregnant. As soon as you added foods other than breast milk to your child's diet, it became easier for you to become pregnant again. If you have not already adopted a method of birth control and if you do not want to conceive right away, you will want to use some means of contraception now.
  The most obvious change will be in your breasts. It may take several months for you to lose the bulk of your milk, even though none may be apparent within days after the last nursing session. Some women are able to express a drop or two of milk from their breasts up to several years after weaning. Remember that nipple stimulation promotes milk production, so if you are always checking for milk, you are likely to find some. Also, consistent nipple stimulation during sexual activity can result in slight milk secretion for some time.
  It may also take several months for your breasts to return to their former size. They will most likely be less firm than they were before you became pregnant, but this is the result of childbearing, not breastfeeding. They will probably seem to be the same size they were before your pregnancy, although some women feel that their breasts become larger or smaller after nursing. This may have something to do with the amount of weight gained or lost or with their having become accustomed to having larger breasts.
  If you wean slowly, you should have little or no discomfort from milk pressure. You'll gradually produce less and less milk until there's virtually none at all to speak of. If at any point during weaning, your breasts become overfull, you can express just enough milk to ease your discomfort, or you can put your child to the breast for a minute or two (if she's willing to stop at that). Don't overdo it or you'll just encourage your breasts to continue producing copious amounts of milk. If you're uncomfortably full most of the time, slow down the pace of weaning.
  If you have to wean suddenly, you are likely to be quite uncomfortable for several days unless you're producing very little milk. You can hasten the drying-up process and minimize discomfort in a few ways. You'll want to wear a firm, but not too tight, bra, perhaps in a size larger than the one you usually wear. You can also relieve discomfort by expressing just enough milk to ease the pressure on your breasts. And you may also get relief from icepacks applied to the breasts several times a day. Ask your doctor to prescribe a pain-reliever, which can be relatively strong, since you don't have to worry about the medication reaching your child.
  Two once popular remedies are no longer recommended. One, binding your breasts, can actually make you feel worse and cause a plugged duct besides. And medicine to dry up your milk usually didn't work and often had unpleasant side effects; it has been taken off the market for this purpose.

EMOTIONAL RESPONSES
Your emotional reactions to weaning may be even more apparent than your physical ones. Much of your feeling about weaning will depend on your particular circumstances. If your baby is setting the pace for weaning earlier than you had expected, you may be feeling sad, surprised, and rejected. Rejoice, instead, in your child's push for independence and in his demonstration that he can take the initiative toward a new chapter in his life. This is only the first of many steps toward self-reliance that he will take in his lifetime. One of the primary goals of parenthood is to help our children become as self-sufficient as possible, in small stages appropriate to their level of development.
  While it can be a blow to realize that your child does not need you in this particular way as much as she did before, you shouldn't lose sight of the fact that she will need you even more in other ways. Right now, for example, she may have special needs for the comfort of your arms and the reassurance of your love. Parenthood involves learning what our children need at different stages in their lives -- and being willing to give it.
  If you have to wean abruptly, earlier than you had expected or wanted to, you will most likely feel the grief of unrealized expectations, of having to give up a joyful activity, and of depriving your child of something that means so much to him. As you mourn what you both have lost, however, you need to tell yourself that you have done the best you could for your child, and that you will have many opportunities throughout his life to show your love for him in an infinite number of ways.
  Even if you yourself initiated the weaning process and if it has gone smoothly and gradually, you may be surprised to find that you feel more than a little sad as nursing draws to a close. This feeling is common and normal. The end of breastfeeding represents a loss to you both. No longer will you enjoy this close physical bond, this symbiosis between you and your child in which each of you needed the other in a very special way. The end of nursing, especially of a long-time nursing relationship, marks the beginning of a new phase in your child's life. And as much as we want our children to grow up and be independent, most of us have ambivalent feelings about our success.
  You will probably have the same kind of mixed emotions the first time you leave each of your children playing happily in preschool or kindergarten, the day they go off to sleep-away camp, the day you leave them in the college dorm, or the day they say "I do" and go off to start their own nuclear families. A lump in the parental throat often accompanies our feelings of accomplishment for having helped our children to meet life's challenges with confidence and enthusiasm.