Expert: Sally Wendkos Olds - 11/11/2008

Question
Hello, I'd like to know if it's good to use a breast pump from the beggining. The thing is, my partner is currently abroad and will be with us just for the first 2 weeks of the baby's life (should be born this week) and he'd like to bond with him, so he suggested I'll use a breast pump, so I can sleep over night and he can feed him from bottle. I told him I don't think it's a good idea, because I think it's important for the baby to be in touch with breasts as much as possible, otherwise he could reject them in future and also I believe that breast pumping can kill some of the good bacteria the baby needs for his immunity. Could you please help me if I'm right or if this would be ok to do? I certainly want my partner to bond with the boy and understand how he feels, but the baby comes first at the moment! Thank you very much.   Petra

Answer
Dear Petra,

First, congratulations on the forthcoming arrival of your baby -- and on your smart decision to breastfeed him.

Yes, the best way to get breastfeeding off to a good start is to nurse your baby within the first hour of birth and very frequently after that, including overnight. This way you can be sure he'll be getting all those good disease-fighting antibodies from your milk, and will take to breastfeeding. It is best not to pump right away, but to deliver your breast milk to your baby directly from your breasts. This will be easier for you and better for your baby.

It's great that your partner wants to bond with the baby! I'm attaching an excerpt from the new, not-yet-published revision of my book (see below) to show some of the many ways he can take care of and be close to the baby without feeding him. That's your job!

Best wishes for an easy delivery and a beautiful baby!

Sally
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Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters. Now in revision for a fourth edition, with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D.

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How a “Breastfeeding” Father Can Nurture a Baby
• Change diapers, either before, after, or during the mid-feeding break.
• Take your baby out of the crib at any time of the day or night to carry her to her mother for feedings.
• “Wear your baby” (see page tk). Walk around with your baby, carrying him in a baby carrier to feel his soft warmth next to you and to let him enjoy your presence.
* Do the “daddy neck nuzzle”: Skin to skin, place your baby against your chest with her head under your chin. Cover both of you if the room is cool. Sign, talk, hum, or sing to use your vocal chords to vibrate the baby’s scalp. Your baby can hear your heartbeat louder than he can mom’s, since men have a thinner fat layer to muffle sound.
• Rock or walk her when she’s unhappy, or soothe her some other way (as suggested in the box on page  [TKChap7—ways to comfort a crying baby]).
• Enjoy a fun-filled parenting activity for anyone who likes to play in water:  give your baby a bath.
• In a warm room or under a blanket, hold your baby, clad only in a diaper, against your bare chest, where he can hear your heartbeat and feel your warm (and maybe fuzzy) skin. You can bond through that wonderful skin-to-skin contact, and you can give your baby a different tactile experience from the one he has with his mother.
• Hold and stroke your baby and show how gentle and loving your touch can be.
• Give your baby a soothing massage (see the box on page tk).
• Work through some baby exercises with her.
* Lie down on the floor and let your (older) baby crawl over you. You’ll be getting rest while you’re close to your baby.
• Sing to him.
• Talk to her.
  With these last two activities, you’ll not only be establishing a relationship—you’ll also be furthering language development, an important contribution to your child’s cognitive growth.