Expert: ruth kraft - 12/18/2008

Question
HI, Ruth,
I'm wondering if you can help us out.

Our son is 3 month old and he  has been exclusively bottle-fed my pumped milk since week 1. Both me and my husband work from home, so we both get to care for the baby.

A week ago our son started crying during the feedings; eventually, we figured out that he had a mild infant reflux.
During those days, it was mostly me who was soothing and holding him.

So, now he would take a bottle from me (mother) only. Every time my husband/nanny would try to feed him, he goes into a crying spell. Same goes for putting him to sleep now. Unless it is me, he just won't fall asleep.

At this point the situation is pretty desperate - often I have to meet my clients at their locations and every time I miss the feeding, I come home and everyone there is simply miserable.

I look forward to hearing from you, Ruth,
thank you,
Iryna

Answer
wow, this is a tough one... I am not sure why your son would suddenly have such an aversion to anyone else... It might be because he is going through a growth spurt which often makes babys rather fussy etc...

I would maybe try something like Gripe water from a nutritional store like whole foods etc... or Rescue Remedy about 15 minutes before feeding and see if that doesnt help get thim through this stage.

While you are at home, I would maybe suggest playing with him a little while someone else is feeding etc to warm him back up to the idea of someone else caring for him while you are not there. then after a little bit telling him you are leaving before you leve the room , leave for a bit and then come back. Maybe for some reason he has a fear of you leaving , its kindof early for seperation anxiety but children are amazingly brilliant and its possible....

practice leaving for short periods and then returning with alot of play time that doesnt include feeding so that is established again without the stress of the bottle... it may be that he is picking up on your tention and their tension which is making all of their experience miserable... it was likely something that started out small and then he could feel your stress about it which makes him react to your stress in his own way, then he stresses and thinks that thebottle means stress for everyone... if that makes any sense...

that would be my best guess... I hope thats helpful... you just have to find ways to be creative in helping him understand again that food is a good thing even from others...  

Wishing you well... always remember he is resiliant and will get through it :) tell everyone to take lots of deep breaths :)

Sincerely,
ruth kraft
www.honoringwomen.com