Expert: Sally Wendkos Olds - 2/10/2008

Question
my 5 mo old daughter has suddenly stopped wanting 2 nurse!!! from the beginning it hasnt been easy to bf her. i went from cup feeding to finger feeding to finally being able to nurse but only with a nipple shield. i would really like to faze the shield out, it did help but now she is more active while nursing, pulling off alot which pulls the shield off, she is not at all patient while i have to get it back on! when she started rejecting the breast i thought it was my milk supply and started taking fenugreek which i noticed a major difference with, my let down is almost instant. since my supply seems up i thought her disinterest could be due to teething but havent seen any signs. for naps she liked being nursed laying down, all the time she liked to bf laying down but now she wont. i first try sitting up, sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt, usually i have to walk around with her and since i am not relaxed doing this my let down takes longer an she wont be patient and pulls off and cries. if i hold her there long enough and fight her arching her back to get off she will eventually proceed to nurse and once i begin to let down i can then lay down with her. i dont know if i should do this though, i feel like i am forcing her. i just end up dreading having to do this every feeding, i love bf and hadnt planned on weaning any time soon, but is SHE trying to wean? i bf my 6 yr old with similar difficulty and she weaned herself at 5 mos and i wasnt ready for it, i really wanted to go longer this time!! it took us a long time (1 1/2) mos to finally begin to bf in the beginning and i dont want to let go of it yet. what may be going on with her? how do i take away the nipple shield and continue to nurse?? help!

Answer
Dear Megan,

First, congratulations for giving both your daughters the best start in life by breastfeeding them!

I didn't answer your questions earlier since I wanted to consult with a pediatrician. Basically, she and I agree that it's hard to tell exactly what is going on based on the information you have given and on our not being able to see you and your baby in person, but here are some possibilities.

If your baby were a couple of months older, I would say she is trying to wean, but that is unusual in a five-month-old. However, since you say that your older daughter also weaned at about this time, maybe you just have precocious babies!

Another thing that is confusing is your baby's arching. This is common with babies who have GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disorder), but the fact that she will nurse well lying down makes this diagnosis unlikely.

I'm not sure why you are wearing the nipple shield -- is it because you have inverted nipples? I'm assuming you are referring to shields (also known as breast shells or milk cups) specifically designed for drawing out inverted nipples. If your nipples do not protrude enough for your baby to latch on, you may need to continue using the shields as long as you breastfeed.

If you have not yet consulted with a lactation consultant, I suggest that you do so. To find one near you, go to www.ilca.org. These specialists are specially trained to diagnose nursing problems and help moms and babies to resolve them. Actually observing you and your baby in person is the best way to figure out what the problem is.

If it turns out that your baby does stop nursing now, you should know that you have given her a wonderful start, by supplying her with valuable colostrum and important antibodies against disease. You deserve so much credit for persisting in the face of the difficulties you and she have experienced.

Good luck!

Sally
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Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters. Now in revision for a fourth edition, with Laura M. Marks, M.D.