Breastfeeding/Weaning

Advertisement

Expert: - 1/22/2009


Question
Hi,
I have a 14 month old son. I am almost done weaning him (I started with cutting down to 3 feedings at 12 months.)I am now down to one last feeding. I have no idea how to end the last feeding. He wakes up somewhere between 5:30am and 6:30am for this morning feeding. As soon as I feed him a little he will go right back to sleep, which is good because then he gets his full 12 hours of sleep when he wakes up at 8am. I am reluctant to let him cry it out on this last feeding because 1.) I can hear him loud and clear in the next room and won't be able to go back to sleep and 2.) I have heard that refusing to breastfeed is  not the way to do it.
I have tried to give him a bottle of milk in his crib or even with me holding it, but that is not what he wants. He doesn't even ask for breast milk at other times of the day, just early in the morning.
Sometimes I think I am just being selfish and should wake up with him and start the day, but then again I really think he needs the sleep and that he he isn't ready to get up either.
I hope you can help. Thanks

Answer
Dear Bethany,

First, congratulations for giving your son the very best start in life by breastfeeding him! It seems that he has thrived and enjoyed nursing, and is on his way to weaning from the breast. I can appreciate your feelings now about wanting to move onto the next stage of his development.

For right now, though, it sounds as if your little guy needs his mom as much as he needs his sleep. And because of that, if you decide to let him cry it out, neither need will be met -- and it will be more miserable for you as well. That early morning feeding is often the last one to be given up -- your son may just need to check in with you for a little reassurance that his day is going to go well. If you can continue these feedings for at least a little longer, you may find that if you don't fight it, your son's need for it might begin to diminish.

If he takes a bottle at other times, you might try giving him a bottle just after these early-morning nursings, and eventually he may be willing to switch over to that to start his day. You might also consider giving him something he likes to eat that won't make too much of a mess in the bed -- like a bagel or something else to chew on. Just keep trying different things -- and meanwhile, keep being willing to go along with his current needs. And enjoy these intimate moments -- believe me, they won't last forever -- he will wean!

Best regards,

Sally
--------------------------------
Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters. Now in revision for a fourth edition, with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D.  

Breastfeeding

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Sally Wendkos Olds

Expertise

What do you want to know about breastfeeding? I can tell you what`s good for the baby, what`s good for the mother -- and the father, how it`s related to a woman`s sexuality, how working moms can nurse, how to overcome obstacles, and lots more. As the author of THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING and author or coauthor of 8 other books and more than 200 articles about child and adult development, I can offer sound, sensible advice on breastfeeding, child care and family issues.

Experience

I nursed my 3 daughters and am the grandmother of 5 breastfed children. My book THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING (written in consultation with pediatrician Marvin S. Eiger, M.D.) was first published in 1972, and in 1999 came out in an updated 3rd Edition by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books. It is now a classic, with over 2 million copies in print. I am now revising this book for a fourth edition, consulting with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D. This new edition will be published September 2009. I welcome any and all suggestions for the new edition. I coauthored college textbooks A CHILD'S WORLD: INFANCY THROUGH ADOLESCENCE, and HUMAN DEVELOPMENT; both are leading texts in their fields and have been read by 2 million students. I am the coauthor of HELPING YOUR CHILD FIND VALUES TO LIVE BY and RAISING A HYPERACTIVE CHILD, and author of THE WORKING PARENTS' SURVIVAL GUIDE & THE ETERNAL GARDEN: SEASONS OF OUR SEXUALITY. My newest book, A BALCONY IN NEPAL: GLIMPSES OF A HIMALAYAN VILLAGE, published in 2002, tells the story of the way of life in a remote village in Nepal, where all the women breastfeed! My book, SUPER GRANNY: COOL PROJECTS, ACTIVITIES, AND OTHER GREAT STUFF TO DO WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS, will be published March 2009. I speak often to professional, parent and general audiences and make many radio and TV appearances.

Credentials I received my B.A. in English Literature from the University of Pennsylvania, where I minored in Psychology, was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated summa cum laude.

Other points of interest I have received national awards for my writing, and am a former president of the American Society of Journalists & Authors. I am listed in the World Who's Who of Women, International Authors & Writers Who's Who, and Contemporary Authors, and am a member of several professional and civic organizations. I believe: that all parents are working parents; that parents employed outside the home need special support; that mothers' well-being is crucial to their children's welfare; and that the family is the best institution in the world and the one for which we are least prepared. My thrills come when parents or kids tell me they were helped by my writing or speaking or just understanding. To find out more about me, go to

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.