Expert: ruth kraft - 3/19/2009

Question
This is a boundary question.  My 18month old loves nursing still, which is great, and she is very communicative and often asks for "booby" from daddy and other people.  She has asked her grandmother on numerous occasions and the other day her grandmother let her nurse.  Apparently it lasted for about 5 seconds and it was all over.  I find this very disturbing and uncomfortable and am wondering if this is a "typical" thing or if I should be concerned for my child or her grandmother for that matter.  Any insite?

Answer
You daughter is likely playing cause and effect. which most toddlers do. She just happen to choose this one, she doesnt understand anything about body significance or that this woudl be socially wrong etc... there is nothing physically going to happen to your daughter from nursing. Chances are , grandma doesnt even have milk. She was nursing to see what would happen if she asked other people.

so from your daughters side, nothing should be done.

If you are uncomfortable with the fact that her grandmother is letting her nurse, then share with the grandmother that your child has been doing this with others and it makes you uncomfortable and that if she asks again to please just refer her back to you. with the words, children only nurse from their mommies, and leave it at that.  It doesnt sound like her grandmother was trying to be malicious or that there is somethign you should be concerned with... as your daughter asked her, out of curiosity,not her asking your daughter.

It sounds rather innocent to me... Haveing watch many children over the years, who have also asked me to nurse them, ( although I chose not to ) I know it is simple. in many other cultures this is concsidered a normal occourance, even to nurse your friends babies.  It is our society that makes this rule... don't take it too seriously. correct what you want to happen and then leave it be... there are bigger fish to fry :)

best of luck.

ruth