Expert: Sally Wendkos Olds - 6/21/2009

Question
I Breastfed my baby for his whole first year with no problems, but now that he is 14 months and I am pregnant again, and due in just a few months, I know that I need to wean him. I've dried up completely and I only nurse him to put him to sleep, knowing that he's using it more as a pacifier than anything else. I want to stop nursing asap and not have him get jealous or too upset when i start nursing the newborn. Should I try to progress into weaning him or quit completely all at once?

Thank you so much!

-Julia

Answer
Dear Julia,

First, many congratulations -- on your pregnancy, on planning to nurse your newborn, and on giving your son the best start in life by breastfeeding him!

Please wean your son gradually, not "cold turkey!" I have an entire chapter about weaning in my book (see below), and I'm excerpting a little from it here. I suggest that you start right away so that your son will be weaned from the breast by the time the new baby comes. At that point he may want to try nursing again. You can let him -- he probably won't want to continue, having become used to bottles or cups, solid foods, etc.

FROM THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING:
To begin, pinpoint the nursing session your child shows the least interest in, probably the early evening or noontime feeding. Eliminate this one first. Using the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” method can often identify the child’s least important nursing session and can be the first to go.

Most babies enjoy sucking on a bottle, but not all find them appealing. If your baby doesn’t seem interested in drinking from a bottle, don’t try to force it on him. Instead, substitute something else, like a cup of formula or juice, or a few spoonfuls of applesauce.

For an older child, the substitution can be any of a number of things—a game, a cuddle, a walk to the park, a reading session with a favorite book, a piece of fruit or other healthful snack. Most important is your involvement with the activity, so that you show your child that you can show your love for him in many ways. For suggestions on weaning the older nursing child, see the following section.

Wait several days (up to two weeks) and then eliminate the next lightest feeding of the day. Keep doing this until you’re down to one nursing a day, probably the first one of the morning or the last one at night. By now, you’ll be producing very little milk and your child may give up this last feeding easily. Or you may decide to continue this one favorite feeding for a while longer. Many children wean easily during the day but want to continue nursing at bedtime for some time. Weaning this way should take from a couple of weeks to a couple of months or longer.

Also, since your son uses nursing to help him fall asleep, it may help to have someone else (his father, grandmother, etc.) put him to bed for a few nights while you go out of the house. I did this with my granddaughter -- and rocking and singing to her finally got her to sleep.

Good luck!
Sally
--------------------------------
Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters. Now in revision for a fourth edition, with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D.

----------------------------------