Expert: ruth kraft - 7/18/2009

Question
QUESTION: My baby is 10 and half months old. For the first six months he was totally on breastfeeding. After six months i gradually started his complementary feeds which includes commercial baby products as well as home-made foods, although breastmilk was his main food. Moreover he was not accepting formula milk, so i had to breastfeed him often. Other solid feeds was just being introduced to him, since he was just tasting them. After eight months, somehow he increased his solid food intake, as a result i started giving him more solid food, but for milk it was only my breast milk, which he used to have 3-4 times a day, especially before sleep. He himself used to demand the same. But since 1 week, he is totally refusing to breastfeeding. Even if i try to feed him, he refuses. Although he's taking other solid foods as usual. This may be a natural weaning process, but i want to breastfeed him for few more months. Can you please suggest how should i put him back to breastfeeding, atleast 1-2 times a day?


ANSWER: it sounds to me like he has gone on a nursing strike...  I am including a couple articles that outline why and how they happen so that you can read up a little and see what to do from here... good luck! You never know at 10 months if a baby will go back to the breast ... but its always worth a try :)
http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/breast/AS-nursingstrike.htm

or go to this link, then go all the way to the bottom of the page to find these links ...

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html#linksstrike



Nursing Strikes

Surviving A Nursing Strike by Becky Flora, IBCLC
Is Baby Weaning or Is It a Nursing Strike? by Nancy Mohrbacher
Nursing Strike FAQ from LLL
Nursing Strikes by Cheryl Taylor White
Nursing Strike FAQ from Misc.kids
Articles on Nursing Strikes from the LLL magazine New Beginnings
Chronicle of a 40-day Nursing Strike by Tane Tachyon. Also includes additional info and personal stories about nursing strikes.

good luck.
Ruth Kraft
www.honoringwomen.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for understanding my problem and guiding me. Atleast now i am convinced that it is a nursing strike, because if it was weaning, he would have appreciated milk through other means. But neither bottle nor spoon feeding has become his routine. Although he enjoys other fluids like water and fruit juice through bottle, but not milk.
After going through the links, i can make out that the main reason for his refusal may be my strong reaction to his biting, because the day he bit me strongly i reacted strongly too. Since that time itself he started refusing to nursing. I didn't take it seriously that time, but as days went by i started thinking where did i go wrong. Other reasons can be use of perfume, but i have used it earlier too, with no problem from his side. Also the same day my menstrual period had started, so i thought may be there's a difference in milk taste. So i have been waiting and have been trying to nurse him, but with no positive results. Also tried particularly at night, since he enjoyed nursing during sleep. But there also he found an alternative by sucking and biting his lower lip. And if i try to remove his lip and insert my nipple, he realises and protests. Its quite difficult also to insert through his teeth. Can you please suggest how can i succeed in this task, now that i have identified the problem. Moreover i dont want to fiercely do it, since it might worsen the situation.

ANSWER: The best ideas I can think of right now, because of the shock from the reaction at biting, is to one, find him something to teeth on. maybe some teething tablets or something to help relieve some pressure from that. If when he does nurse and he bites again, take a deep breath ( i know its hard ) tell him, that hurt mommy! but not really loud and creaming... more like a little dramatic that hurt! and unlatch him. then give it right back. if he bites again, he has to wait 20 mintures to try again. if he bites again, he isnt hungry, he needs to teeth on something.

I would agree that forcing him to nurse is not a good idea. suggestions woudl be to turn nursing into play... so he starts to realize that you like nursing too.... that it is a good thing . Lay in bed with him when he is in a good mood, show him your breast and and tease him a little like wheres mommys milk? there it is!  then pull your shirt down and go "OH! WHERED IT GO! ?" and then show agian and say there it is! be playful! and fun! and smily and giggly... let him snuggle and such without the pressure of nursing. once he realizes that you think its a good thing and there is no stress about it, he will likely take it back.

good luck :)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I tried your idea for making him feel comfortable, but it didn't work yet. Moreover he plays with me in all respects, without paying attention to breasts. Slowly he's forgetting sucking anything during his sleep. Earlier while his sleep, even by a slight touch on his lips, he used to open his mouth, but now he's becoming totally indifferent. He sucks and bites his lower lip till he falls asleep. What should i do now? Shall i remove his habit of lip biting? Will it help in the process? Please suggest. Thank you.

Answer
I don't think that you will be able to take away his habit of biting his lip because you can't really stop him and it will frustrate both of you to try to make him. because in reality, you can't make him.   You can only keep trying to offer it to him and see if he decides to take it back. Maybe try again to pump and give him the milk that way or mix it with cereal etc.... that way he will at least get the milk. But unfortunatly, if he decides to wean, then he will... the only thing you can do is keep offering and hope he decides otherwise. Letting him make the choice is the only real option you have as you can't really force him...

good luck !