Expert: ruth kraft - 8/3/2009

Question
hi.. i have been breastfeeding my 17 month old son since day 1 and want to quit now. the only way he goes to sleep is when i nurse him. he wont let go of the breast through out the night. and everytime i stop nursing he would wake up shortly after. so i literally spend the whole night breastfeeding him. he wakes up like 7-10 times a night. other then at night i sometimes breastfeed him during nap time. any advice would be highly appreciated. i just want to know how to stop breastfeeding completely. i have tried to make him sleep without breastfeeding when he wakes up but he keeps crying constantly until i give it to him.

Answer
this isnt so much about breastfeeding as it is about boundries. at 17 months he understands that you have to have boundries. Some things are ok and some are not. Up to this point, you have been telling him that its ok to nurse all night long. ( and if it works for you then great! but because it no longer is, then it becomes an issue ) SO, you have to reinstate boundries that work well for you. and then stick to it. its much more about discipline than nursing. but you also want to wean slowly. explain to him a rule that you can start out with easily. Mommys breasts can only be used before I go to sleep and when I get up, they have to be covered the rest of the time so I dont get cold.... you can use any story you want. they are sleepy and wont make your milk if they dont get sleep too. have him tuck them in tell them goodnight and he will see them soon. continue that. if he fusses, remind him they are sleeping. replace it with a blankie or anything else that he can cuddle with instead of nursing etc... it won't be easy... but you don't want to become resentful and then take it out on the baby as he doesnt know what the problem is...  after you get to resetting boundries, you can wean further from there.

Good luck!
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