Expert: ruth kraft - 5/11/2010

Question
QUESTION: hello ruth, thanku for taking the time out to answer my question, my question is how do i wean my 3 year old of the breast, i dont mind my daughter wanting still to breast feed but the problem is she wants it all the time annd during the night she makes it like a dummy if i try to wean her she screams the whole house and cries none stop, so i give in, i honestly think its time to wean even though i will be sad. thanku so much for your help. kind regards adele

ANSWER: You can start by choosing the feedings that are the least important to her and when she wants to nurse, you can tell her that your body/ breasts need to take a break, a nap, whatever... then distract her with something else. Once those feedings are weaned you can start with sleep time rituals. you need to create something in its place. Like at night you can say, your body is sleeping, so lets read a book! or sing a song and dance slowly etc... I usually suggest one 1-2 feedings per week. depending on how easy she gives up. When she wants to nurse, you can start by saying, in a little while, as they are resting. then LATER you let her have the chance to nurse. then, you just distract her and keep delaying times until she is weaned :)

Good luck! Lots of distraction at first. If she cries, you will have to keep distracting her and let her fuss. Tell her you see she is upset, but when she is ready to play we can do something else. She will settle. This is creating healthy boundries for both of you. But if you give in, she will learn that screaming is how she gets the things she wants. and as she gets older, so do her lungs :)



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thankyou for your tips i will try that but i forgot to mention that she co sleeps with my husband and i and how do i get her out of my bed as well as weaning in the middle of the night. i think it would be hard to distract her at all hours of the night, please help as i dont know how to do 2 things at once. thankx so much

Answer
start with daytime first. The night time is going to be the hardest usually. So you start gradually during the day, and teaching that the breasts need a break too. She understands sleep time, awake time. So if she wants milk to be there, its time for them to rest. So AFTER you have all day time weaned, you can start saying, milkies, or whatever your nicknake is for them, need to start sleeping longer so they can give you what you need.

If it becomes too hard, get a book called the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley. She can help you work through your situation on a daily basis :)and the book gives you the steps to do so.