Expert: Sally Wendkos Olds - 9/22/2006

Question
Hi, this is Kim and Josh and we have a 14 month old little girl
named Madeline. We just moved into a new house about one
month ago and Madeline has her own room now. She has never
slept in her crib because in the old house it wasn't possible, so
she slept with us in the bed with the co-sleeper.  I am still
breast-feeding at night and in the morning and throughout the
night because she is still in the master bed.  My husband is a
very compassionate man and likes the dogs and the baby with
us and is sad when I say she has to sleep in her own room, so I
haven't really given it a good shot yet.  She is already walking,
drinking from a cup, eating everything, although she has only 4
teeth.  I would like to wean her from breastfeeding, the bottle,
and get her to sleep in her new room.  She will take the bottle
for a few ounces then tosses it aside and wants to breastfeed.  
She seems more attached to breast feeding now then she used
to be, so I don't know what is going on there.  She has never
taken a binky, even though I've tried a lot of different ones and
she hasn't attached to any particular object, just me I guess!

She is a really happy baby, and hardly cries, so when I tried to
get her to sleep in her crib for her naps she cried and cried,
(with me in the room) and now won't go next to the crib without
hanging on for dear life.

My problem is what do I wean first?  breast? bottle? sleeping
arrangements?  do I go cold turkey with her?  She is such a good
baby I don't want to make her insecure and unhappy and sad.

Can you help me?


Kim

Answer
Dear Kim,

First, congratulations for giving Madeline the best start in life by breastfeeding her! And to both you & Josh for being such compassionate parents!

Certainly do not go cold turkey with any of the issues you're writing about. If you do not have any personal time-tables for weaning her from the breast and the bottle and from sleeping with you, don't feel you need to do this. Plenty of moms nurse their babies for over two years, and many families embrace the "family bed" concept, by which a child continues to sleep with the parents for the first few years.

However, if you do want to make changes, do it only one at a time. I devote an entire chapter of my book to weaning from the breast (see below), so I can't give you everything here. Briefly, though, you want to eliminate one feeding at a time -- then not another one for a week or two. While you're cutting out the feeding, substitute with other things -- maybe solid food, maybe milk or juice from a sippy cup, maybe a walk in the stroller.

On the naptime, you could put her in your bed, but without you in it, or even in the room, which can get her used to sleeping alone. Then you can make the crib more appealing by putting treats in there, either toys, or graham crackers or something else Madeline likes to eat. Will be messy at first, but may show her that the crib is not a bad place to be!

On the bottle, that doesn't seem to be a problem, since she doesn't like it anyway!

Good luck.

Sally

Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters.