Expert: Sally Wendkos Olds - 2/10/2006

Question
my son is 1year old he takes my milk how should i stop it.he dislikes taking anyother type of milk. even if his stomach is full when he is sleepy he just to cling to it. please help

Answer
Dear Malvika,

First, congratulations for giving your son the best start in life by breastfeeding him!

It's not so easy to wean children of this age when they are not ready to wean themselves, but I do offer some suggestions in my book (see below), and I will excerpt a passage from my book. I hope some of the following helps.

Good luck!

Sally

Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters.
-----------
MOTHER-LED WEANING
If you're ready to wean, but your child hasn't shown any sign of losing interest, you may want to start the ball rolling yourself.
  If possible, try to initiate weaning at a time when your child does not have to make other adjustments. If he's teething or has a cold, or you've just gone back to work, or there's a new babysitter, or you've just moved, or there's some other major disruption of routine, put off the weaning for a few weeks. It's always easier for children (and adults, too) to manage only one change at a time.
  First, pinpoint the nursing session your child shows the least interest in. It will probably be the early evening or noontime feeding. Eliminate this one first.
  If your baby is under a year old, you may want to substitute a bottle. Most babies enjoy sucking on a bottle until they're well past a year, but not all find them appealing. If your baby doesn't seem interested in drinking from a bottle, don't try to force it on him. Instead, substitute something else, like a cup of milk (formula if your baby is under a year) or juice, or a few spoonfuls of applesauce.
  For an older child, the substitution can be any of a number of things -- a game, a cuddle, a walk to the park, a reading session with a favorite book, a piece of fruit or other healthful snack. Most important is your involvement with the activity, so that you show your child that you can show your love for him in many ways. For suggestions on weaning the older nursing child, see Box 18-2.
  Wait several days, up to two weeks, and then eliminate the next lightest feeding of the day. Keep doing this until you're down to one nursing a day, probably the first one of the morning or the last one at night. By now, you'll be producing very little milk and your child may give up this last feeding easily. Or you may decide to continue this one favorite feeding for a while longer. Many babies wean easily during the day but want to continue nursing at bedtime for some time. Weaning this way should take from a couple of weeks to a couple of months or longer.
  
  BOX 18-2:  SUGGESTIONS FOR WEANING THE OLDER CHILD

  *  Make nursing sessions shorter.
  *  Use distraction. Before a child might ordinarily nurse or as you're bringing a brief nursing session to an end, involve her in an interesting activity.
  *  Offer something your child likes to eat just before he would ordinarily nurse. It's better to forestall a request to nurse than to deny it.
  *  Change your routine. At a usual nursing time, go out for a walk or a ride, or invite a playmate over, or bring out a new toy.
  *  Stay away from the places where you ordinarily nurse. If you're used to nursing in a special chair, hide it or move it out of your home temporarily.
  * Don't sit down in front of your child, since many little ones associate sitting down with nursing time. Just keep on the move in the early days or weeks of weaning. Think of it as another opportunity to exercise!
  *  Do not uncover your breasts in front of your child. This will remind him of nursing when he may not have been thinking about it.
  *  Lavish physical affection on your child in activities not associated with breastfeeding, such as reading a picture book, telling stories, or singing.
  *  Enlist your child's favorite people. Ask her father, or grandmother, or an adored babysitter to get her up in the morning or put her to bed, or to go to her in the middle of the night, depending on which nursing session she asks for.
  *  Focus on eliminating the nursing sessions that are least important to your child and most inconvenient for you, and let the others continue for a while.
  *  Talk to your child about weaning as a definite occurrence in the future (after the next birthday, perhaps, or after Santa Claus comes). Even if there's some backsliding after these events, your child will think of nursing as ending someday. One mother told her three-year-old a story about a little rabbit whose mother said, "I love you and I love to nurse you, but my milk is going away and it's really special milk for babies."
  * Ask your child to postpone a nursing; this will sometimes lead to his forgetting it. A child who asks to nurse in public, for example, can often accept waiting "until we get home." At some times he'll dash into the door and climb onto your lap to collect what's been promised; at other times he'll become interested in something else.
  *  While you're weaning, continue to be willing to nurse your child at times when she's especially needy. If she hurts herself or is sick or unhappy, depriving her of the comfort she's used to will only create more unhappiness for both of you. Once she's weaned, you'll be able to comfort her in other ways.
  *  Stay away from traumatic techniques like painting your breasts with pepper, soot, or evil-tasting substances. Allow your child to keep his happy memories and his trust in you. The best way to end this stage in your child's life is through an agreement between the two of you -- even if that agreement originates with you rather than your child.
  * Recognize those times when nursing is just what your child needs. As one mother said, "A lot of times when he asks to nurse I can distract him, but when he really needs it, I nurse -- and then she's in a super mood and so it's good for both of us."