Breastfeeding/temporary weaning

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Expert: - 3/9/2007


Question
Help! I have been breastfeeding my son for almost 9 months.  It has been a wonderful experience for both of us.  However, my oldest son (who is 6) is having some surgery that will force me to be away from my 9 month old for 10 days.  I am desperately trying to get him to take a bottle so that his grandparents will be able to take care of him while I must be away. He wants nothing to do with the bottle, and just cries and turns away when I offer it.  I have tried breastmilk and formula, and it doesn't seem to make a difference either way.  Is there a certain nipple that I should try using, or should I avoid sitting in our "breastfeeding" rocker, or should someone else be offering the bottle instead of me?? Should I try a sippy cup instead?  Help!  The surgery for my older son is fast approaching and I am getting worried.  I never dreamed that he would reject the bottle so much!  My plan is to continue to pump while I am away from him and BF after I return.  Now I am wondering if he may refuse to nurse again after all of this!  What should I do??  Thanks for your advice- Lesa Roffler

Answer
Dear Lesa,

First, congratulations for giving your son the best start in life by breastfeeding him!

His refusal to take a bottle at this age, if one has not been offered and taken much earlier, is very common. Be assured, though, that he will not starve. Yes, avoid sitting in your "breastfeeding" rocker. Yes, have someone else offer the bottle -- while you are nowhere in sight, and maybe not even in the house. And yes, try a sippy cup.

Also, he is probably eating solid foods by now. You can give him milk, either breast milk or formula, in cereals, puddings, and other foods.

If he has trouble falling asleep without nursing, you can have his grandparents do what I did with my breastfed granddaughters -- I held them and rocked them and sang to them (they didn't care that I couldn't carry a tune).

If you can, have the grandparents come and begin taking care of him while you are still home, so that he will not have to make too many adjustments at the same time.

And yes, do pump while you are away from your son if you can manage it while being with your older son. This will keep up your milk supply if your baby does want to return to nursing when you come back. It's possible that he may not. Every baby is different and reacts differently. If he does not want to nurse after your return, you can still be happy that he nursed as long as he did, and you will still have many ways to mother him and show your love. Sometimes life circumstances beyond our control -- like your older son's need for surgery -- change our plans.

I send my best wishes for both your sons -- and of course, yourself.

Sally

Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters.  

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Sally Wendkos Olds

Expertise

What do you want to know about breastfeeding? I can tell you what`s good for the baby, what`s good for the mother -- and the father, how it`s related to a woman`s sexuality, how working moms can nurse, how to overcome obstacles, and lots more. As the author of THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING and author or coauthor of 8 other books and more than 200 articles about child and adult development, I can offer sound, sensible advice on breastfeeding, child care and family issues.

Experience

I nursed my 3 daughters and am the grandmother of 5 breastfed children. My book THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING (written in consultation with pediatrician Marvin S. Eiger, M.D.) was first published in 1972, and in 1999 came out in an updated 3rd Edition by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books. It is now a classic, with over 2 million copies in print. I am now revising this book for a fourth edition, consulting with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D. This new edition will be published September 2009. I welcome any and all suggestions for the new edition. I coauthored college textbooks A CHILD'S WORLD: INFANCY THROUGH ADOLESCENCE, and HUMAN DEVELOPMENT; both are leading texts in their fields and have been read by 2 million students. I am the coauthor of HELPING YOUR CHILD FIND VALUES TO LIVE BY and RAISING A HYPERACTIVE CHILD, and author of THE WORKING PARENTS' SURVIVAL GUIDE & THE ETERNAL GARDEN: SEASONS OF OUR SEXUALITY. My newest book, A BALCONY IN NEPAL: GLIMPSES OF A HIMALAYAN VILLAGE, published in 2002, tells the story of the way of life in a remote village in Nepal, where all the women breastfeed! My book, SUPER GRANNY: COOL PROJECTS, ACTIVITIES, AND OTHER GREAT STUFF TO DO WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS, will be published March 2009. I speak often to professional, parent and general audiences and make many radio and TV appearances.

Credentials I received my B.A. in English Literature from the University of Pennsylvania, where I minored in Psychology, was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated summa cum laude.

Other points of interest I have received national awards for my writing, and am a former president of the American Society of Journalists & Authors. I am listed in the World Who's Who of Women, International Authors & Writers Who's Who, and Contemporary Authors, and am a member of several professional and civic organizations. I believe: that all parents are working parents; that parents employed outside the home need special support; that mothers' well-being is crucial to their children's welfare; and that the family is the best institution in the world and the one for which we are least prepared. My thrills come when parents or kids tell me they were helped by my writing or speaking or just understanding. To find out more about me, go to

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